Contrary to what Wu-Tang Clan would have me believe, I seriously doubt the rapping skills of the average Shaolin monk. While they may be well-trained and diligent practitioners of a multitude of acrobatic kung fu styles, they aren't particularly boastful and don't seem to say a whole lot, so it would be safe to assume that they'd get their asses handed to them in an MC battle. Sure, they can do a handstand on two fingers, climb up ropes with their toes and drop-kick the crap out of cinderblock, but can they rip the mike and drop mad science? While popular culture may lend to some widely held misconceptions, it's the mesmerizing physical prowess and agility brought about by intense Buddhist meditation that fuels the centuries-old traditions of the fabled Shaolin. Thus, I find it entirely plausible that they could defy the physical laws of gravity to win a championship soccer match. Shaolin Kung Fu Spectacular takes place 7:30 p.m. Saturday and 2 p.m. Sunday at the Hill Performance Hall in the Eisemann Center, 2351 Performance Drive in Richardson. Ticket are $28 to $88. Call 972-744-6450 or visit eisemanncenter.com.
Sat., July 8, 7:30 p.m.; Sun., July 9, 2 p.m.