Person With Disability

Rest in peace--please-- Zayra Alvarez

Zayra Alvarez was axed on national television Wednesday, August 16. At approximately 8:20 p.m. the Puerto Rican native and Dallas resident launched into a high-energy version of Blue October's "Razorblade" on Rock Star: Supernova, but it couldn't save her from a deftly wielded Tommy-hawk. Alvarez was tragically denied and Supernova (Tommy Lee, Gilby Clarke and Jason Newsted) determined that, in her final days, Alvarez's confidence was impressive even if her pitch was rarely perfect.

Having performed a litany of disastrous and therefore exceptionally entertaining, songs, Alvarez was clearly losing the fight with a serious, possibly fatal, pitch deficiency (PD). Documented evidence of this condition was obtained during renditions of, most notably, Evanescence's "Bring Me to Life," David Bowie's "All the Young Dudes," The Kinks' "You Really Got Me," Blondie's "Call Me" and others performed live on the CBS show.

It was often apparent that Alvarez's PD-afflicted performances affected the singer as negatively as they did the audience that refused to vote for her for several weeks during her stint on Rock Star. Her spastic writhing and plummets to the floor were indications that the young vamp was physically compromised not only by unnatural and piercing pitches, but also by her binding costumes, often fashioned from non-breathable fibers. On one occasion, her blue vinyl skin-tight spacesuit caused what appeared to be convulsions, and on another, an animal print bathing suit created what is known in the fashion world as a "camel toe" and induced a series of nerve spasms that took Alvarez's wiry body to the floor with an unflattering lack of grace. It is assumed that her condition (and subsequent verbal and muscular outbursts) was painful, though the Latina firecracker produced nary a grimace.

In her last moments, she offered wit, self-deprecation and confidence that belied the time-is-nigh state brought on by her ever-present PD. Before the very end, she was embraced by friends/rivals and offered well-wishes, some of them assuredly put on. Rock Star: Supernova's Zayra is survived by her solo Spanish-language career, Paul Nugent of Brando Records, fellow female Rock Star contestants from Texas (Patrice Pike and Dilana) and a number of non-biodegradable costumes. Her rock career will be laid to rest in her favorite gold lamé cat suit and extra-long bangs. As of yet, no memorial has been scheduled, though Alvarez may return from the dead for the Rock Star:(We didn't get into) Supernova contestants concert tour.

 
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