Greek To Us

No-talent American Idol finalist Constantine Maroulis is once again ready to serenade you breathily and in no particular key. He's out to prove that being disgust-o in the looks department does mean you can't be sexy. You'll see all of his moves: Squinty Eyes, Pointin' Atcha and, of course, I Button the Top Three Buttons of This Shirt for NO ONE! Constantine has also been working on his sultry look. He realizes that on Idol, it looked more I-just-smelled-the-inside-of-a-cat's-ass than sexy. Catch Constantine's church gig Saturday and Sunday at the 50th Greek Food Festival of Dallas. The event runs 10 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. Friday, 11 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. Saturday and 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sunday at Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church (13555 Hillcrest Road), with food, folk dancing and lots of people asking, "Jesus! What is that awful noise?" Tickets are $3 to $16. Call 972-233-4880 or visit greekfestivalofdallas.com.
Fri., Sept. 29, 10 a.m.-10:30 p.m.; Sat., Sept. 30, 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m.; Sun., Oct. 1, 11 a.m.-6 p.m.