Not Again

John Ashcroft visits Dallas

 John Ashcroft just won't go away. When a man loses an election to a dead guy, you'd think he would take a vacation or something. But not the former attorney general: He’s back, and this time it's personal. His new book, Never Again: Securing America and Restoring Justice, claims to take the reader behind the curtain at the Justice Department (you know, the curtain he used to cover the naked breasts of the Spirit of Justice). Never Again promises to let readers in on what Ashcroft "did to repair the serious breaches in our country's security." Here's the condensed version: 1. He encouraged government employees to spy on you. 2. He used the threat of terrorism to further the Bush agenda. 3. He put Tommy Chong in jail. The end! Mission accomplished! So accomplished, in fact, that Ashcroft declared upon his 2004 resignation, "The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved." And yet Reuters later reported terrorist attacks tripled that year. I mean, if you want fiction, you might as well read Harry Potter. I'd tell you more, but the van outside my apartment has ears. Ashcroft discusses and signs his book Never Again 7 p.m. Wednesday at Borders, 10720 Preston Road (at Royal Lane). Call 214-363-1977.
Wed., Oct. 11, 7 p.m.
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