Teutons of Fun

Uptown Players romp through uber-gay Valhalla; CTD stages laid-back Whorehouse

With Paul Rudnick's Valhalla, the Uptown Players plunge right into the sticky-sweet center of a gooey comic confection. This company specializes in gay-themed shows, and if this one were any gayer, Elton John could wear it, Tom Cruise could sue it and Liza Minnelli could marry it.

Playwright Rudnick is the gay Neil Simon, known for rapid-fire quips and outrageous characters. His best-known works for the stage--I Hate Hamlet, Jeffrey and The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told, a biblical send-up that re-imagined Eden populated by Adam and Steve--aren't as critically embraced as those of that old gay warhorse Terrence McNally, but they are funnier and less formulaic. As a screenwriter, Rudnick's earned hits as a script doctor on The First Wives Club and Addams Family Values and with his own In & Out. Then there was his remake of The Stepford Wives, which might have worked if it had more gay and less Nicole Kidman.

In Valhalla, directed for Uptown by Andi Allen, Rudnick goes all gay, all the time, setting up dueling biographies of conflicted male characters. Galloping first to center stage in this madcap meander through two centuries is Mad King Ludwig II of Bavaria, played by B.J. Cleveland as if his ability to draw breath depended on every laugh. Ludwig, a 19th-century monarch obsessed with architecture and The Ring Cycle, begins the play as a precocious 10-year-old prince (Cleveland in a black pageboy wig, transformed into a pintsized Kaye Ballard).

B.J. Cleveland plays Ludwig as if his ability to draw breath depended on every laugh.
B.J. Cleveland plays Ludwig as if his ability to draw breath depended on every laugh.


Valhalla continues through October 22 at the Trinity River Arts Center, 214-219-2718.

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas continues through October 29 at Contemporary Theatre of Dallas, 214-828-0094.

As a teen, Ludwig dons a nun's habit and torments his idiot brother, Otto (Coy Covington), and mother, Queen Marie (Lisa Hassler). In puberty, he feels his first stirrings of man-on-man passion under (literally) a Teutonic tutor (Kevin Moore) but is forced to audition a string of princesses for matrimony before finding a gemütlich connection with sweet-natured, humpbacked Princess Sophie (Kelly Grandjean). With her encouragement, he begins to fulfill his dream of building a series of castles inspired by Wagner's operas.

Meanwhile, 100 years hence in a small Texas town, a flirty little tough named James Avery (John de los Santos) seduces both his pal Henry Lee Stafford (Moore again) and high school princess Sally Mortimer (Grandjean). Like Ludwig, whom he'll encounter in Act 2 through Rudnick's tricks of time travel, James dreams gorgeous dreams. He craves escape from ugliness and oppressive attitudes, and he hopes to convince Henry Lee, who isn't so copacetic with the boy-boy thing yet, to go with him...wherever.

With six actors playing dozens of oddball entities jumping in and out of the parallel plot lines, Valhalla unfolds like a Wagnerian sitcom. There are princes and villains, gods and monsters, hicks and naked dicks (this is Uptown, after all), trussed up (or not) in costume designer Tommy Bourgeous' lush operatic velvets and brocades, like extras from Lohengrin (a Ludwig favorite). When the Mad King rides onstage on a white jousting pony, it's a visual howler as clever as Rudnick's best jokes.

In Norse mythology, Valhalla was the heavenly banquet hall for slain warriors. By the end of this play, two heroic figures have died tragically in different sorts of battles but only after the playwright has fired heavy rounds of comic artillery in every direction. The best volley of funny comes in a short monologue by the Sally character, who explains her concepts of truth and beauty. "Inner beauty's tricky," she says, "because you can't prove it." Her best girlfriend, Emmeline, is blind. "Sometimes when Emmeline gets depressed," Sally says, "I describe myself."

Returning to their home theater, the cozy 140-seat Trinity River Arts Center, after the fire that forced them to relocate to El Centro College for the summer, the Uptown Players are in top form, going full out with Valhalla. B.J. Cleveland, as Ludwig, finally latches onto a role that requires strenuous overacting, something he's an expert at. As James, John de los Santos doesn't quite have the butch James Dean quality to be a believable delinquent, but his comic timing and physical grace make up for that. Kelly Grandjean, playing five roles, including Marie Antoinette, makes a lithe comic foil for her leading men. And in a dizzying array of character parts, Lisa Hassler, Kevin Moore and Coy Covington keep the laughs and the intricate plot lines zipping along.

Hard to say what deep meaning, if any, is worth gleaning from Rudnick's naughty-but-nice play. There are messages about gay stereotypes and the banality of camp, as when James and Henry Lee suddenly break into a corny movie musical production number onboard a World War II troop ship taking them to battle in Europe. Rudnick seems confused about what this play should do and in his confusion tries to make it do too much. One minute it's a farce, the next it's an attempt to renovate poor Ludwig's image in history (he wasn't really mad--his government had him declared insane to get him off the throne). Throw in a twist of Greater Tuna, and it's a big comic casserole with a side of strudel.

Success is starting to sap the fun out of going to Contemporary Theatre of Dallas. Not to begrudge them healthy ticket sales, but at the second night's performance of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, I was jammed in so closely to the stranger next to me, I counted the change in his pocket.
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