By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
By Alice Laussade
By Scott Reitz
File this one under "Stuff you need to know about to avoid musical ostracism." Cred Sheet is a periodic gauge of cultural stimuli for those unwilling or unable to think about this shit for a living 24/7. (Note: These people are most often smarter and better compensated than those who are willing and able to do so.) It seeks to be a reliable fount of valuable info and ostensible humor. Clip it out and take it along to speed-dating engagements as a valuable icebreaker and greased pathway to "The Coitus."
Abrupt Alt-Rock Resurgence: The frightening realization that the best power-pop record of 2006 is the Gin Blossoms' Major Lodge Victory. Paving the way for the great Spin Doctors revival.
Album of the Year This Week: The frigid, unstoppable brilliance of Junior Boys' So This Is Goodbye. "In the Morning" is the jam.
Economic Indicator: The ignoble demise of Tower Records. Funeral bouquets of plastic flowers will be manufactured for a dime apiece and retail at $18.99.
Cathartic Band Breakup: The drug-addled demise of the Darkness. Contrary to prior belief, one cannot snort cocaine ironically.
Technological Marvel: The Internet's abysmal failure to produce a halfway-decent Blood Brothers song-title generator. Just rig a fill-in-the-blanks form combining naïve, childlike whimsy with unimaginable violence—e.g., "You're the Dream Unicorn," or "Set Fire to the Face on Fire." (Gonna be hard to beat "Huge Gold AK-47," though.)