Busted

Off-field indiscretions be damned, Michael Irvin deserves football immortality

"Michael didn't like the way Eugene treated me or some of the other guys on the tour," Paco says. "So they went at it, right there in a hotel room in Odessa. When it was over there was lots of broken furniture, and the Hoopsters had a new leader."

Since that day—even recently Michael phoned to ask him to help younger brother Derek get his truck repaired—Paco has been Irvin's sometime personal assistant. In the past, his duties included rounding up party favors with tight bodies and loose morals.

"Michael's main addiction was pussy," Paco says. "People have heard this and that about the 'white house,' but they wouldn't believe the shit that went on. It was one big nonstop orgy, and Mike was right in the middle. But even with all the partying, no matter what happened, he never let it interfere with football. I'm not saying he was a saint, but football always came first."

And if the Hall of Fame cherishes the player over the playa, football immortality for Irvin will also come at last.

"I'm biased," Aikman said during his own induction ceremonies last summer. "But if there was ever a receiver that had a Hall of Fame career, it's Michael Irvin."

Maybe Aikman will present him? Perhaps Jimmy Johnson, Emmitt or even his unfathomably loyal wife, Sandy?

Just to be safe, let's hurry and get Irvin inducted.

Before he gets indicted again.

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