By Jeremy Hallock
By James Khubiar
By Observer Staff
By Kelly Dearmore
By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
Bizarre Resurgence: Ladies and gentlemen, America—yes, that America, "Horse With No Name" America—now have a MySpace page. Something should be done about this, and it should probably be violent.
This Song Will Change Your Life: Matisyahu's cover of "Message in a Bottle." The Police are threatening to re-form just so they can trick Matisyahu into joining them on stage, at which point they will do something violent about this.
TV Party: People who seem genuinely shocked and offended that the I'm With Rolling Stone interns are doing interesting and fun and telegenic things, as opposed to normal intern drudgery. For painstakingly accurate reality programming, we kindly direct you to C-SPAN.
Journalistic Coup: The Onion headline "Area Man Takes Metallica Audio Tour of Art Museum." Gahhahaahahaha.
Bizarre Alliances: Mike Watt's imminent guest appearance on the new Kelly Clarkson album. He contributed a song titled "Political Song for Kelly Clarkson to Sing."
PR One-Sheet Buzzword: "Late-arriving melodies." About as desirable as "late-arriving dinner," "late-arriving prophylactics" or "late-arriving medical attention."