By Kelly Dearmore
By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
By Alice Laussade
"Light My Fire," Al Green
Whether you like the music of the Doors or you think they sound like somebody's fat, drunken uncle howling alongside a mildly caffeinated church organist, there's no denying the copious amounts of lovemaking magic that Al Green injects into his cover of their song. Compared to Reverend Green's smoldering interpretation, the original version comes off as sexy and sultry as a peg-legged stripper reeking of corn chowder.
"Keep On Loving You," REO Speedwagon
This song is awesome solely based on the use of a rattlesnake sound effect immediately following the first verse, illustrating that the person who inspired the lyrics was a snake in the grass "all coiled up and hissin'." But nobody gives a rat's dick about the verses. It's the sing-along chorus that has rocked many a wedding reception dance floor with nary a nudge nor wink.
"A Skull Full of Maggots," Cannibal Corpse
To be honest, I have to admit a special, sentimental place in my heart for this song, because it was playing when I lost my virginity.
Most of Bread's discography
Take your pick. There's "Too Much Love," "Let Your Love Go," "Lost Without Your Love" and, of course, "The Love That You Love is Lovin' the Love You Lost to Love the Loving Love We Loved Together, Baby."
"The Fuck Shop," 2 Live Crew
There has been no better combined appropriation of both Slash and Eddie Van Halen's signature riffage to better accompany a filthy, filthy rap song about a whorehouse. Bravo, Brother Marquis. Bravo.
"La La Love You," Pixies
I guess this is, like, their "Yellow Submarine."
"Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car," Billy Ocean
What truer, purer love is there on this earth than that which causes you to make promises of nonstop miracle loving from the driver's side window of a moving vehicle? "Who, me?" Yes, you. Get in the backseat, baby.
"Lay, Lady, Lay," Bob Dylan
Supposedly not about a lady at all but about the dog that would lie across Dylan's big brass bed while he wrote songs. In other words, Bob Dylan probably had sex with a dog.
"Love for Sale," Talking Heads
Television and commercialism have warped our very notion of what true love is supposed to be. Also, it is for sale.
"Light My Fire," Stevie Wonder
What does Stevie bring to the party? How about some strings and some horns and not one, but two harmonica solos. Three, if ya count the one at the end when the song's fading out. Still not impressed? Dig the funky flute parts on the chorus. So damn good it almost makes you forget what a stupid-ass song it was to begin with.