DJ Sista Whitenoise

While Lee Harvey's front yard fire pits do little to remedy recent weather trends, be they "frigid frosts" or "arctic blasts," the vibe inside remains warm and cozy. This is mostly because the place has the spatial capacity of a newly purchased tin of breath mints. But it's the rotating cast of resident DJs, be they MC 900 Foot Jesus, DJ Chikki G or DJ Cee Pee, that really make driving around for 10 minutes looking for a dimly lit parking spot all the more rewarding. All night Saturday, DJ Sista Whitenoise promises to turn out joints so funky it will "make ya wanna slap your mama," as Nina Simone, Bootsy Collins and Sly & the Family Stone share airspace with more contemporary funk thumpers, maybe some Dr. Octagon or a li'l Ultramagnetic MCs. Then from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. on Sunday, the good Sista returns to team up with local hip-hop statesman, KNON-89.3 FM's Dropper of Knowledge, EZ Eddie D, to wrap your weekend up the right way. If that ain't enough to warm you up, you're probably suffering from severe walking hypothermia. That you're even still alive is a miracle in and of itself. Seriously, you should stop reading this and immediately contact a medical professional. At the very least, e-mail CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta.