We're sick and tired of Dennis Miller trying to make us common folk feel all dumb by using them polysyllabic turns of phrase and pulling out obscure references such as Lord Theomopharah's trusty crossbow during the final throes of the historic Siege at Dalamiphius. And we're tired and sick of David Spade and his lusciously shining hair cascading down his mousey face, beckoning us to run our fingers through its amber strands as it waves softly in the evening breeze. It's so luxurious! Don't you just want to cradle his tiny head in your lap and brush that gorgeous mane for hours on end? We do. And we were gonna. But as it turns out, this severely snarky twosome is in town for the noblest of causes, performing at a fund-raising 40th anniversary celebration for Contact Crisis Line, a local nonprofit help line that provides free crisis prevention and intervention, information and referrals, and emergency aid requests all day, all week, year-round. You win this time, gentlemen. But watch your backs. Contact Crisis Line presents Dennis Miller and David Spade, 8 p.m. Saturday at the Majestic Theatre, 1925 Elm St. Tickets range from $75 to $225 and are available by calling 214-373-8000 or by visiting ticketmaster.com. For more info on Contact Crisis Line, visit contactcrisisline.org.
Sat., March 24, 8 p.m.