The Candy Gene

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More About

• Johnny Depp
• Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
• Gene Wilder
• Arts, Entertainment, and Media
• Visual Arts

The 1971 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is my favorite movie of all time. So, when somebody told me about the remake, I was like, "Eff that!" And when they told me the Oompa-Loompas were CG, I was like, "Eff that!" And when they told me Johnny Depp was in it, I was like, "Sign me up!" But when I saw it, I wanted to punch it in the face. Even Johnny Depp's fine ass couldn't shine this turd. Seeing that remake was like getting full-blown smallpox. In my eye. At 7 p.m. Wednesday, see Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory at the Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth, 3200 Darnell St. Tickets are $5.50. Call 817-735-1117 or visit lonestarfilmsociety.com.
Wed., May 16, 7 p.m.