Twisters and Double Wides

 No Festivus for the rest of us: So the yahoos at Yahoo!Buzz (the Web engine's pop culture site that keeps track of stuff like who is the most Google'd American Idol performer, etc.) recently tallied up which summer music fests are the most popular, Top 10-style, and guess what? Not a single Texas fest made the list. If you're interested, notable festivals that made the list include jamfest Bonnaroo (June 14-17, Manchester, Tennessee), which made No. 3; the stupidly named Summerfest (June 28-July 8, Milwaukee), which was No. 2; the even more stupidly named Virgin Festival (August 4-5, Baltimore—Does anyone else think "Virgin Festival" sounds like some sort of ancient sacrifice ritual?) and numero uno (well, duh, tickets are free) is Ozzfest, which arrives at the Smirnoff Center August 2. (It's a traveling festival, not Texas-based.) What, no Austin City Limits? Texas, we gotta represent.

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Celluloid Heroes: It may be weirdly meta, but it's also cool: Check out THe BAcksliders Movie—Live at the Double Wide (Lone Road Productions) for free at the Inwood Theatre on Thursday, May 24. It's sort of pomo to consider watching a film portraying a show that you were probably at, but, hey, them's the times. Plus, after the showing, Dragna, Team Evil and Action Is! play at the Double Wide, coupled with $2 Lone Stars.

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Carry on, our wayward sons: KLAK-97.5 FM's Summer Concert Series, which takes place at Myers Park and Event Center in McKinney, just happens to have the band Kansas slated for May 27. The band, along with a nonprofit called Forever Free, McKinney Fellowship Bible Church and the Red Cross, have grouped together to make the concert a benefit for tornado victims in Greensburg, Kansas. Parents, take your children so that you can teach them the rewards of giving from the heart. And also so you can explain who Kansas is.

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Handstamps: The Damnwells may be the headliners, but fellow Brooklynite Ari Hest should be the real treat at the Granada Friday, May 18. Hest indulges in a John Mayer-type singer-songwriter kinda deal, which is a questionable genre to be sure, but there's something about his darker melodies and roller-coaster ride of a voice that makes it OK...You gotta love a band that's been around since 1964 that boasts a Web site more sophisticated than ours, but Kenny and the Kasuals—a very popular local band back when your parents were just a gleam in their parents' eyes—have reveled in newfound attention. Between their early dirty pop local hits and their biggest Dallas song, the psychedelic "Journey to Tyme," the group basically epitomizes the foundation of what passes for indie rock nowadays (Anton Newcombe, you listening?). Catch them with the Novas at Poor David's Pub on Friday, May 18...Is it a coincidence that the very same night, Dan's Silverleaf in Denton hosts former Verve Pipe frontman Brian Vander Ark, a noted '60s-phile?...On the other side of the spectrum is the Lee Harvey's Saturday, May 19, appearance of evil wackjob VooDoo Organist, who basically sets his, uh, organ on fire with blistering rockabilly and a devilish stageshow... House heads can indulge in beats galore at the Lizard Lounge that same Saturday, as the Planet of the Drums 2007 tour makes its Dallas stop with Dieselboy, AK1200, Dara and MC Messinian...If R. Kelly were not a pedophile (OK, alleged. Whatever.) and wrote slightly jazzier songs and dressed like Common, he'd be Musiq Soulchild. OK, so his name is pretty cheesy (he's performing Sunday, May 20, at House of Blues), but damn if the guy doesn't sing the type of soulful slow jams that make you wanna snuggle up to your honey. After some really dirty sex. A lot of really dirty sex...Wait, where were we? Oh yeah, on the opposite end of the sexy spectrum is Wednesday, May 23's Polka Freakout at Dan's Silverleaf. Not as naughty, but still a hell of a lot of fun.