Mayer All Night

Fathers, be good to your daughters. Because John Mayer is gonna bang them.You know John Mayer is the bomb. John Mayer is making boinkloads of money lying to girls about how pretty they are, and all you fools are jealous. John Mayer is getting laid. A lot. I bet he even motorboated Jessica Simpson's ta-tas. You ever motorboat Jessica Simpson's ta-tas? No. And all he does is get onstage and sorta sing songs while he sorta plays the guitar. He knows he's lame. And he's laughing at you all the way to the groupie orgy. But seriously, John Mayer. Do not get fat. Or old. If you get stretched or wrinkly anywhere, it's over. 7:30 p.m. Friday, see John Mayer and Ben Folds at Smirnoff Music Centre, 1818 1st Ave. Tickets are $44.50 to $55.50. Call 214-421-1111 or visit hob.com.
Fri., June 22, 7:30 p.m.

 
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