Clay Aiken's latest CD, A Thousand Different Ways, showcases the thousand different ways you can shit on music. It starts crapping immediately with 10 covers. Of love songs. Including Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do (I Do It for You)." Then, it takes a big dump when Clay's backup band turns out to be canned elevator music. And the whole time he's crapping, he's smiling. Because that's another way Clay poops on music: he makes it all cute. This Wednesday at 4 p.m., go to Freedom Fest at Pizza Hut Park, 6000 Main St. in Frisco. Admission is free. Which only seems fitting, really. (They must have had that conversation, right? "Aw, crap. We really boxed ourselves in naming this thing the Freedom Fest. Should have gone with $20 Fake Boobs Only Fest.") There'll be food, face painters, bouncy castles, the aforementioned concert by Clay Aiken and the Philharmonic Orchestra, and the biggest fireworks show in the metroplex (if you count Frisconsin as part of the metroplex). And if you're into soccer, get tickets to the FC Dallas versus Chivas USA game that starts at the park at 5:30 p.m. Game tickets are a pricey $21 to $75. But the fantastic display of calves will be well worth it. Plus, FCers Oduro and Toja counter all that Aiken. Call 214-979-0303 or visit pizzahutpark.com.
Wed., July 4, 5:30 p.m.