Go Away

 Go away: So much rain...so many clouds...will to live fading...fading...

The Dallas Morning News reported last week that despite the record days of rain—what is it now, eight, nine months?—it's unlikely anyone around here is suffering seasonal affective disorder, aka winter depression. Oh yeah? Then someone explain to Buzz why we're developing this sudden appreciation for the music of Coldplay. Whatever the reason, we're feeling a bit disjointed this week. Got no answers for ya, just questions.

For instance, while we're glad Councilwoman Angela Hunt appears to have acquired enough signatures to force a vote on the Trinity toll road, could the notion of a Dallas version of Central Park along the river—as opposed to a toll road—be a bit pie-in-the-sky? Can you imagine a July day when you want to pack a picnic basket, hump it over a levee to sit down on weedy, baked silt and eat next to a snake-infested, mosquito-ridden, muddy, polluted ditch?

Speaking of parks, Buzz paid our first visit to Victory Park recently. Who, we wonder, are these people having cocktails at 3 p.m. on a weekday afternoon? It looked like the cast of the Bugtussle, Alabama, community theater performing a stage version of Less Than Zero. Can a tight skirt cut exactly 2 millimeters below the hoohah really be comfortable for a woman? Since the age of the pharaohs, has any man ever worn a necklace without looking like a douche? Why would any male not currently a member of The Little Rascals wear a ball cap with a large bill cocked to one side, particularly with a dress shirt, unbuttoned to the sternum, with a gold chain and sunglasses, indoors?

And while we're on the subject of little rascals, if Constable Mike Dupree had been having sex with a 19-year-old Latina female whom he thought of as a daughter and then had her deported, would he have gotten in more or less trouble than he did for doing that to a male? Buzz is thinking more, but maybe we're being paternalistic and underestimating the amount of homophobia in Dallas.

And on that note: How much did Ed Oakley's being gay have to do with him losing the election? Would he have made the mayoral runoff if he wasn't gay in a city with a politically active LGBT community? Oakley told the Dallas Voice that his sexual orientation "became the only story during the runoff." What paper was he reading? His being a mean, negative, street-fighting partisan was mentioned a few dozen times or so, we recall. But then, Buzz's mind has been fuzzy lately. Maybe that's the effect of a vitamin D deficiency. Or Coldplay.