The Butter Queen

11 a.m. and 4 p.m. Saturday, see Paula Deen Live 2007! presented by Smithfield Foods at the Music Hall at Fair Park, 909 First Ave. Paula Deen should be cooking and teaching people how to get more out of their time in the kitchen, but because it's at the Music Hall and the show's name has an exclamation point in it, I'm feeling a musical number coming on. Maybe she'll sing honky-tonk about how much cooler she is than Tyler Florence. What a d-to-the-ouche he is. Every dish he creates for Crapplebee's must end up tasting like a wet fart. I don't care what ingredients you put together, there's no saving the recipe when you add that smiley zit to the mix. Go see Paula Deen, y'all. Tickets are $48 to $68. Call 214-373-8000 or visit ticketmaster.com.
Sat., Aug. 25, 11 a.m. & 4 p.m.