Art Thou Ready to Rumble?

Shakespearean Death Match confuses me. I get that there are 16 characters all battling it out to see who is the Shakespeareanest. I get that you can place actual bets on the outcomes for a chance to win kickin' prizes. And I get that seeing man parts in tights is always entertaining. But what I don't get is how they left out some of the best Shakespearean characters—like Malvolio. And Kenneth Branagh (the greatest character Shakespeare ever wrote). And Ebenezer Scrooge. Et tu, Dallas Hub Theater? 8:15 p.m. Thursday, see Shakespearean Death Match at Dallas Hub Theater, 2809 Canton St. Tickets are $15 to $20 for general admission and VIP seating, and $10 for students and Grandmas. Call 214-749-7010 or visit dallashubtheater.org. It's gonna be bard-core. Go see it post haste, y'all.
Thu., Aug. 30, 8:15 p.m.; Fri., Aug. 31, 10 p.m.; Sat., Sept. 1, 8:15 p.m.