Teenage and Transgendered

They were back together when I saw them a few days later at Youth First. They're trying to figure out how to take more time apart, grow as individuals and still be a couple. James periodically worries about the surgery, which looms far in the future, given the high cost—What if he never has the money to do it? Burden wouldn't mind having what she calls "real sex" again, but she says what she has always said: "Don't worry—I fell in love with you, not your body." In fact, she sometimes forgets he's not yet physically a man until he asks for a sanitary pad or some Aleve.

The conversation turned to James and Burden's relationship and how they want to have children some day. "I've met people at group who've come out, and they have kids who are 20 or 30 years old, so their kids are like, 'You've been my mom for 30 years, and now you're my dad?'" James said. "I have the advantage of being able to meet someone like Amber who already knew about me. I don't have to start a relationship and get sexual and then have to say, 'By the way, I'm lacking in certain departments.'"

"Like in Boys Don't Cry," said Scarborough.

"Right," James said. "We talk about having a family—we can sit down and say, 'When we have kids, how are we going to handle this?'"

Burden knows her parents likely won't be happy about such plans, but she's hoping they'll come around. She pointed to Scarborough. "He helped me to realize that, you know, your parents might hate it, but you gotta do what you need to do," she said.

Scarborough nodded and took another drag on his cigarette. "If it turns out that in the long run, this isn't it, then shit, rock it while you can. And if it turns out that this is gonna be the rest of your life, then go after it—you can't let anybody else tell you what to pursue in your own life," he said. "Even if it's a bad idea, no matter what you do, never regret it. Because, at one point, that's what you wanted." He paused. "I read that somewhere on MySpace."