Rangers: The Texas Treadmills

While Millwood was sub-par, Padilla's performance was as revolting as his surly personality. He walked batters. He hit batters. He injured his triceps. He threw 71 mph curves when the situation called for his 92 mph fastball and said nothing to no one in the aftermath. If he's back, the Rangers won't move forward.

So while Mark Cuban fox-trots with the stars and Jerry Jones grooves for pizza, Rangers owner Tom Hicks again has to tap-dance around the truth. His team has finished third or worse in a four-team division for seven consecutive seasons. In the 36-year history of the franchise there've been just 14 winning records and exactly one playoff game victory.

"There's always one Cinderella team," says Laird. "Next year it might be us."

While driving to Rangers Ballpark in Arlington, the hope hit.

The Rangers are adding prospects, not patches. What if they start developing? What if they sign Twins All-Star and Prosper resident Torii Hunter to patrol center field? Or a designated hitter named Barry Bonds? Or Curt Schilling? What if by next season's home opener against the Orioles on April 8...Wow, that's huuuuge!

The Rangers have long lived in the Cowboys' shadow. Now, thanks to the colossal stadium rising just across the street, they'll also have to play in it.

"The Cowboys are 3-0, huh?" Washington says. "Guess that's where all our fans have gone."

You could use some off-season.