Considering this item is in a paper funded by ads for titty bars, hopefully nobody reading it is part of Hannah Montana's target demographic. So assuming you're clueless, let me explain the Hannah Montana phenomenon: Malibu teenager Miley Stewart (Miley Cyrus, daughter of Billy "Achy Breaky Heart" Ray) has a secret life as pop superstar Hannah Montana. Only her father (played by the elder Cyrus, stretching his thespian muscles to portray a retired country superstar) and a few close friends know her alter ego, kept secret with lies and a wig. If you're a Hannah fan, put down this grown-up weekly and go with something a little simpler, like Paper City. On the other hand, if you've got a tween-age daughter, perhaps you already broke her heart with news that Hannah's local concert sold out in seconds, thanks to roboscalpers and the kids whose parents bought them a $30 fan club membership entitling them to purchase tickets early during the "pre-sale." Sorry, I don't have any good newsunless youre glad for the excuse not to support Disney fantasy-world junk music. The Best of Both Worlds Tour (with performances by "Hannah" and "Miley") hits the Fort Worth Convention Center Arena, 1201 Houston St., at 7 p.m. Wednesday. Sold out.
Wed., Nov. 14, 7 p.m., 2007