(Not So) Great Dane

It's too bad that Ticketmaster has an 8-limit ticket per household if you're buying tickets to Dane Cook's upcoming performance at the American Airlines Center. That's like saying "Jesus is coming to town and passing out kittens and rainbows, but you can't tell anyone." This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see the greatest comic of all time tell wacky stories about hijinks and jump on stools and do 45 minutes of material about his butt. I mean, chances are, your "household" has about 45 guys in it, right, mister Kappa Kappa Douche? So how are you supposed to get all your bros in the show if you can only buy 8 tickets? Fight the power! Crank up that Rage Against The Machine CD in the sweet Land Rover your parents got you for rocking that 2.9 GPA last semester and try to score with one of those hot sluts from Sigma Sigma Bitchi. You can use their computer to get 8 more tickets. The most mind-blowing show in the history of stand-up comedy is at 7 p.m. this Sunday at the American Airlines Center, 2500 Victory Ave. Tickets are $30 to $100, which is freaking sweet considering Dane Cook is the funniest man on earth. Call 214-373-8000 or visit ticketmaster.com.
Sun., Dec. 2, 7 p.m., 2007