Help Wanted

Yeah, we know. At least the paper is still free.

It's hard saying goodbye to talented co-workers. A lesser person might respond to the defections by spreading scurrilous rumors that Andrea is leaving because she has insulted so many bars and their male customers that she's reduced to sitting at home with her cats, sipping Jack and Coke. Or that Matt is leaving to mend a heart wounded over a breakup with ex-constable Mike Dupree. Or that Julie's book will be about her wild days as a teenage groupie for Journey.

Luckily, Buzz is above vicious rumor-mongering this week. (We are keeping the office supplies under lock and key, though.)

The good news is that we have some openings, so keep an eye out for that Observer pickup truck, soon to make an appearance at a day laborer gathering point near you. It's a pretty good gig here, amigos—certainly far better than being a cop. (Watch as Buzz sets a personal best here for bizarre segues.)

We say this because we just spoke with Brad Kirby, a Dallas photographer who says he's filed an internal affairs complaint against a Dallas cop for allegedly failing to properly investigate the disappearance of Kirby's two Siberian huskies in late October. Kirby says his dogs were stolen from his yard. Thanks to an implanted microchip, one of the pooches was found at the Garland pound, and from there Kirby managed to track down the alleged dog thief. That guy didn't have the other missing dog on him, however, and since you can't dust a dog for fingerprints, the cops told Kirby that they couldn't arrest anyone for theft. Which makes sense, unless you're dealing with a man who loves his dogs, which is why it sucks to be a cop, which is a job, like reporter and editor. See, it all makes perfect sense. (Maybe gin and cough syrup for breakfast is not the great idea it seems.)

Anyhow, Kirby is appearing before city council this week to urge them to require vets to scan all pets for microchips when they get their rabies vaccination, and to allow some prosecution of anyone who unlawfully possesses someone else's microchipped dog. One of those is not a bad idea. The other? Well, city council member is another job we wouldn't want to have.