Happy Christmas, Your Arse

Local musicians weigh in on their favorite—and least favorite—Christmas songs

The best Christmas songs, whether they're classic carols or new favorites, embody whatever you love about the holiday. The worst, on the other hand, are grim reminders of all that is unbearable about the season's orgy of consumerism, exploitation of Christian tradition and ham-handed sentimentality.

I e-mailed a few local musicians the following three questions about holiday music:

1. What is your favorite holiday song (or songs), and why?

2. What memories does that song bring up for you?

3. What is the holiday song you never want to hear again, and why?

I was hoping to include responses with non-Christmas holiday songs, but nobody who responded mentioned Hanukkah or Kwanzaa. Also, nobody picked my personal favorite. For me, Christmas is about love, and nothing reminds me of real love—maddening and unconditional love for someone who you're bound to let down and who is bound to disappoint you—like The Pogues' "Fairytale of New York."

Really, the responses were great. Thanks to all who replied. Merry Christmas.

Jim Heath, a.k.a. Reverend Horton Heat

1. Right now, my favorite Christmas song is "Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!" Because I can't do Christmas now without the Rat Pack (Frank, Dean and Sammy), and the Rat Pack can't do Christmas without Dino slurring/crooning "Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!"

However, when I was kid, every year without fail we listened to Season's Greetings from Perry Como. We listened to this over and over, and I thought everyone did this at Christmas. Eventually, I figured out how un-cool Perry Como was. Then later I had to find this music again. So now guess what? We listen to Perry Como every Christmas. Just not over and over like the (good?) old days.

2. Whenever I hear Perry Como's Christmas album, it takes me back to the house we used to live in. The early '60s décor (pretty cool now that I think of that), the smell of hot Dr Pepper and lemon (try it!) and the mostly fruitless prayers for snow in San Antonio.

3. The worst Christmas song ever written was written by a friend of mine, so I can't say what or who. But good and bad is totally subjective, and he's made a lot of money on the song, as some people love it.

I will say that once I got a pretty bad hangover from a really good Christmas party, and, while I was in total anguish, thinking that I would die, the song "We Are Santa's Elves" was playing in my head over and over and over. It's really not such a bad song, but now, as you can well imagine, it grates on my nerves.

Kristy Kruger

1. Well, I'll be honest here, I am not much of a holiday music fan. I actually find holiday music and all its "merriness" (if that's a word) rather disturbing. It just doesn't seem possible that anyone could be that jolly. It's kind of like an aural representation of that one high-school cheerleader that was always smiling but secretly hated everyone. But if I had to pick one, I'd say the "Ukrainian Bell Carol," but not when those cheesy choirs add words to it! I like it because it's dark and eerie. That's the way Christmas should sound, if you ask me.

2. It doesn't really bring up any memories, I just like the way it sounds. Maybe that's why I like it, because it doesn't bring up memories. All the other Christmas songs bring up too many childhood memories, and now they just make me sad. Maybe that's why I hate them.

3. I cannot freakin' stand "The Little Drummer Boy." I had serious issues with this song from the time I was a little girl. "Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum?" Am I really expected to sing this? Come on, people. You can't be serious. 

Boyd Dixon of Tame...Tame and Quiet

Favorite holiday song: "Linus and Lucy" (Vince Guaraldi). My mother grew up loving Charlie Brown, and we always looked forward to the annual airing of the Christmas special. The whole soundtrack is wonderful, but "Linus and Lucy" is my favorite. It's the song that Schroeder plays while they're trying to rehearse the Christmas pageant, but instead of having any productive rehearsal, they're all just dancing and bobbing their heads. However, this is an adulthood favorite for me. When I was too young for nostalgia, I think "Jingle Bell Rock" was my fave.

Never want to hear again: "Jingle Bell Rock," probably from having during past Christmas seasons turned on my TV and gone to department stores entirely too frequently.

Paul Slocum of Treewave

1) "Christmas" by Beat Happening.

2) Cassette tapes.

3) I could do without "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year."

Chris Holt of The Slack, Sorta and numerous other bands

Oh, I've got lots of favorites, and what's both sad and funny is that some of the ones that are absolutely wretched are the ones that I find myself listening to and giggling at the most.

1 | 2 | Next Page >>
 
  • Jesse Hughey 12/26/2007 12:07:00 AM

    Here are some responses I got after I'd already turned in the story. Sorry this is a bit late.... Anyone else who's interested, feel free to add yours. More from Chris Holt Last night I was driving home and I heard �Christmas Curtain� by My Morning Jacket...great melody! I think it�s about stealing gifts for Xmas and being poor, kinda like the Kinks tune I mentioned. Jim James� voice is absolute perfection on that tune. Finally, I remember an old, little-known ditty by an even lesser-known band known as The Rectal Thermometers, who recorded a classic called �The Christmas Dragon� years ago. It�s virtually impossible to find, and it may be the single most offensive holiday song ever recorded, but hey, it�s in the spirit of the season, and I can�t help but want to mention it. I�m not sure I�d go so far as to recommend it, but its existence is something to chuckle about :) Aaron Bartz, Tame � Tame and Quiet 1. I�ll have to stick with the theme and say �Christmas Time Is Here� by Vince Guaraldi. Besides that it�s just a beautiful song, I like that it�s the most depressing Christmas song I can think of. The music and melodies are all melancholy, but the lyrics are bright and shiny. It�s a weird dichotomy and I love that about it. I think the holidays bring that dichotomy out in a lot of people. 2. I watch the Charlie Brown Christmas Special every year, so it�s more of a repetitive memory, where every time I hear the song, it reminds me of all the Christmases that have passed, and how much has changed. 3. �Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.� It sounds like something they�d sing on Hee Haw or the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Not that Christmas songs have to be serious or anything, but geez.

  • Jesse Hughey 12/26/2007 12:06:00 AM

    Here are some responses I got after I'd already turned in the story. Sorry this is a bit late.... Anyone else who's interested, feel free to add yours. More from Chris Holt Last night I was driving home and I heard �Christmas Curtain� by My Morning Jacket...great melody! I think it�s about stealing gifts for Xmas and being poor, kinda like the Kinks tune I mentioned. Jim James� voice is absolute perfection on that tune. Finally, I remember an old, little-known ditty by an even lesser-known band known as The Rectal Thermometers, who recorded a classic called �The Christmas Dragon� years ago. It�s virtually impossible to find, and it may be the single most offensive holiday song ever recorded, but hey, it�s in the spirit of the season, and I can�t help but want to mention it. I�m not sure I�d go so far as to recommend it, but its existence is something to chuckle about :) Aaron Bartz, Tame � Tame and Quiet 1. I�ll have to stick with the theme and say �Christmas Time Is Here� by Vince Guaraldi. Besides that it�s just a beautiful song, I like that it�s the most depressing Christmas song I can think of. The music and melodies are all melancholy, but the lyrics are bright and shiny. It�s a weird dichotomy and I love that about it. I think the holidays bring that dichotomy out in a lot of people. 2. I watch the Charlie Brown Christmas Special every year, so it�s more of a repetitive memory, where every time I hear the song, it reminds me of all the Christmases that have passed, and how much has changed. 3. �Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.� It sounds like something they�d sing on Hee Haw or the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Not that Christmas songs have to be serious or anything, but geez.

  • ChrisU 12/23/2007 6:30:00 PM

    I have a copy of 'christmas in the congo/christmas party' on 45.unfortunately my technical skills are still of the vinyl era, maybe I can get a friend to put it in another format for you. The Rev says the song he regards as the worst made money so I don't think it was that one. Ted Roddy's Talltops had various lineups that not only included the Rev but also local favorites Homer Henderson(Phil Bennison),Mark Pollock and Donny Ray Ford.

  • Jesse Hughey 12/21/2007 7:50:00 PM

    ChrisU, I haven't heard that song. Any idea where I might find it? While I'm at it, does anyone have any guesses about the "worst Christmas song" that the Rev was referring to?

  • ChrisU 12/21/2007 4:14:00 AM

    should have asked Reverend Heat about 'Christmas in the Congo' a song he recorded with Teddy and the Talltops here in Dallas in 1983...he'd probably like to forget it.

  • Liles 12/20/2007 7:19:00 PM

    "2000 Miles" by The Pretenders is a great X-Mas song. David Bowie and Bing Crosby's "Little Drummer Boy" was pretty neat.

  • Liles 12/20/2007 7:19:00 PM

    "2000 Miles" by The Pretenders is a great X-Mas song. David Bowie and Bing Crosby's "Little Drummer Boy" was pretty neat.

 

Most Popular Stories

Find a Concert

Browse Voice Nation
  • Voice Places

    Voice Places

    Discover restaurants, nightlife, travel, shopping...

  • VOICE Daily Deals

    VOICE Daily Deals

    Get 50 to 90% off every day on restaurants, movies, massages...

  • Best Of

    Best Of...

    More than 10,000 of the BEST things to eat, drink, and experience

  • My Voice Nation

    My Voice Nation

    Join the Village Voice community and get exclusive deals and info

  • Happy Hour

    Happy Hour

    Your local Happy Hour guide at your fingertips

or

Log in or Sign up

Social Connect:

Use your favorite account to access My Voice Nation.


Use your My Voice Nation account to log in:





Forgot password?
or

Sign Up or Log in

Social Connect:

Sign up for My Voice Nation with your preferred network.


Sign up for a My Voice Nation account:



Privacy policy