Jay Leno is a hack. Carson Daly is an infuriatingly milquetoast waste of space. Conan and Dave, I can live with. But my late-night loyalties truly belong to Craig Ferguson. He's got every quality I look for in a man: He's got a lyrical Scottish brogue, he's literate, he's hot, he's witty, he used to be in a punk band and he's a recovering alcoholic. I don't know why I don't already have his babies. Not many folks had heard of Craig Ferguson when he first got the gig on CBS' Late, Late Show, but he's really got the market cornered on the comedy talk show market as far as I'm concerned. His monologues are stream-of-consciousness, running the gamut in a matter of minutes from his crazy pre-rehab antics to his quest for American citizenship. He refrains from cheap shots at celebrity targets like Britney Spears, and instead doles out really smart and cultured social commentary in between the one-liners. He has the best music on late night TV too: It's nice and varied, veering from the Shout Out Louds to Dwight Yoakam to Bright Eyes. Since the writers strike has prevented my Scottish sweetheart from trotting out new material at night, his trek to DFW is a welcome respite from the reruns. Ferguson will bring his winding narratives and wry observations to Bass Performance Hall, Fourth and Calhoun streets in downtown Fort Worth, at 8 p.m. Saturday. Tickets are $25 to $47.50. Visit basshall.com for more information.
Sat., Jan. 5, 8 p.m., 2008