You say you want to experience the Renaissance? Fine, try this: Stop bathing for a few months, get yourself some body lice, cut off your nose to simulate syphilis, kill off a couple of your kids with the plague, burn your sister as a witch and dig a ditch in your front yard to poop in. Huzzah! It's ye olde Renaissance! Realism is so overrated. The actual Renaissance may have been about more than jousting, flutes, flower headbands and adding an unnecessary "E" to the ends of words, but who cares when there are roasted turkey legs to munch, camels to ride, swordfights to be fought and maypoles to dance around to the sounds of olde-timey tunes? The Scarborough Renaissance Festival has all that and tons more rides, entertainment, exhibits and food (our favorite, sizzling fajitas, that classic dish of the Venetian Republic), all of it with a quasivery, very quasihistorical flavor. Verily, it is a hoote for ye children...er, childrene...childes...whatever. And its much, much more hygienic than the real thing. The fest continues weekends, plus Memorial Day, through May 26 at 2511 FM 66, Waxahachie, about 30 minutes south of Dallas. For directions, schedules and ticket info, visit scarboroughrenfest.com.
Saturdays, Sundays; Mon., May 26. Starts: April 5. Continues through May 26, 2008