Jack-Elitists

Pity poor zucchini. Like its squash cousin, the pumpkin, it's a fairly useless fruit that grows large and abundantly. They're watery and bland, and the gardeners who grow them always wind up with more than they can eat--just like the pumpkin. But Charles Schulz didn't create The Great Zucchini, did he? No. And the Dallas Arboretum's fall celebration, The Great Pumpkin Festival, includes displays of more than 20,000 pumpkins and gourds, but we bet there's not a zucchini in the lot. Anti-Italian squashism, that's what that is. But hey, let's not spoil your fun: Head out to the Arboretum Saturday through November 2 and celebrate the privileged pumpkin. See more than 5,000 fall chrysanthemums, a hay-bale maze, a 15-foot pumpkin house and an art fair, footrace, live music and games on the fest's opening weekend. Enjoy your oh-so-special pumpkin-carving contest, you bigots. The Arboretum, 8525 Garland Road, is open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily. Visit dallasarboretum.org for more details.
Sept. 20-Nov. 2, 2008