By Jeremy Hallock
By James Khubiar
By Observer Staff
By Kelly Dearmore
By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
With Coldplay hitting town this week, we got to thinking about frontman Chris Martin and his wife, actress Gwyneth Paltrow.
Given the success on both sides of that marriage, who really wears the pants?
Come to think of it, who wears the pants in a lot of these musician-celebrity pairings?
Chris Martin vs. Gwyneth Paltrow
Chris Martin: Coldplay has won four Grammys, including the coveted Record of the Year in 2004 for Clocks. Not content to just be critical successes, the band has also sold more than 40 million albums worldwide. While this is nothing compared to fellow Brit arena gods U2's 140 million records sold, it ain't exactly something to turn your nose up at either.
Gwyneth Paltrow: Paltrow won a Best Actress Oscar in 1999 for her role in Shakespeare in Love, the last of a quick triumvirate of movies that featured her with a British accent—and thus leading to the popular opinion that Paltrow is, in fact, British when, um, she's not. (Although marrying Martin didn't exactly quash this belief). But since her momentous win, Paltrow's had almost nothing but frightening critical and commercial duds—until Iron Man earlier this year.
Winner: Gotta figure Martin sits at the head of this table. That's just what happens when you're one of the most popular musicians in the world and your wife only played a super-hero sidekick with 10 lines, right?
Seal vs. Heidi Klum
Seal: He can't exactly be called a one-hit wonder, but we dare you to name a hit of his other than the Grammy-award-winning "Kiss From a Rose"—a chart-topping single that achieved international fame thanks to its role in 1995's atrocious Batman Forever. In fact, we're still trying to figure out what made it onto his 2004 greatest hits album.
Heidi Klum: Aside from being one of the world's most famous (not to mention successful) supermodels and, at 35 with three kids, still a prominent Victoria's Secret model, Klum is the host of one of the most successful reality shows on TV today: Project Runway. Her tagline, "You're either in, or you're out," is repeated by women and, well, gay men around the world.
Winner: Seal, actually. No matter how successful his wife ends up, nothing she does will ever trump the fact that he gets to go to bed with her on a nightly basis.
Madonna vs. Guy Ritchie (RIP)
Madonna: The Queen of Pop has sold more than 200 million albums, has a net worth of close to half a billion dollars and has set more trends than all of her peers combined. Sure, she might have starred in some of the worst movies ever made...but did we mention she's worth half a billion friggin' dollars?
Guy Ritchie: Ritchie has directed three movies that no one can tell apart (RockNRolla being the latest), a pretty awful movie (Revolver) and one of the five worst movies of the new millennium (Swept Away, which actually stars Madonna, hilariously enough).
Winner: Madonna is finally divorcing the hack after almost eight years of him always standing two feet behind her. So who do you think wins? It's a no-brainer, reall