By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
Snubbed again: A lot of times people have parties and they get so darned busy, they forget to invite Buzz. Buzz knows how embarrassed they must be when they finally realize their mistake.
Totally unexpectedly, an anonymous e-mail arrived in Buzz's mailbox containing a scan of a paper invitation of some kind that DISD sent out inviting people to a party called "Fall Festival Taste of Texas, recognizing all Dallas ISD, Bilingual/ESL and teachers from abroad."
Well, darn! Ever since Tawnell D. Hobbs' absolutely stunning story November 14 in The Dallas Morning News about DISD assigning fake Social Security numbers to its foreign hires (oh, we wish we had that one first!), Buzz has been hoping Buzz could recognize some of them, too. Instead of Buzz having to stand across the street from DISD headquarters in a trench coat and a wig with binoculars, Buzz could have just gone to the party.
But, no. Left out again.
Hobbs' story, which made the front page of The New York Times, revealed that even after being told by the state of Texas to cut it out DISD continued to hand out fake Social Security numbers to its "bilingual" and "ESL" hires from Latin American countries as a way of speeding up the personnel process.
Buzz deliberately puts "bilingual" and "ESL" (English as a second language) in quotes because of the repeated reports Buzz keeps getting that many of these folks are mono-lingual and English ain't one of them. Look here, Buzz is no Mexiphobe immigrant-hating douche. In fact, Buzz loves the thought of more teachers from Latin America to dilute the influence of the ones from East Texas.
But, you know, you tell us these people are bilingual, they need to be bi. That would be two languages. It's a truth-in-advertising deal.
Had Buzz been able to attend the party, Buzz might have enjoyed walking up to people saying, "Hey, you got a face like the back end of my dog when she squats," just to see if they keep smiling and nodding yes.
The invitation says the party, November 22 from 1 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. behind James Bonham School at 2617 Henderson Ave., will include a "Bounce House for Children." Oh, geez, Buzz loves bounce houses! Especially after Buzz does lots of...well, not around children, of course.
Buzz is thinking maybe they should add a bounce house for adults. Fun idea? Then the Social Administration could come in and see if any fake Social Security cards have bounced out of anybody's pocket.
Buzz cannot imagine why Buzz keeps getting snubbed.