You just can't mask the many missteps of Garland Civic Theatre's Phantom (The Other One)

Among items decorating the set of Garland Civic Theatre's production of the musical Phantom: four ceramic lion statues, a gold-plastic dragon, a small forest of droopy silk trees in gray plastic pots, a vase stuffed with leaves and peacock feathers, three plastic shields, a framed drawing of a chair, a large bronze fan, several baskets of silk roses, assorted mismatched chairs and tables, many fake-marble columns, two identical framed prints of tigers of the sort you might see decorating a car wash waiting area, a gigantic glow-in-the-dark painting of a tiger's face (possibly on velvet, hard to tell), a small framed print of an empty chair, a chaise longue draped in tiger-print fabric, some leopard-print throw pillows, a spiky metal gate, a poster of Parisian fashion circa 1950 (the show takes place in the 1890s), a streetlamp made of plywood, several lion's head doorknockers not attached to doors, a scowling sun-face hanging from a stair railing and a chandelier made of Christmas lights and pink plastic roses.

Phantom menace: Terrence McEnroe is the masked man, Stephanie Hall is Christine in Garland Civic’s musical.
Celeste Rogers
Phantom menace: Terrence McEnroe is the masked man, Stephanie Hall is Christine in Garland Civic’s musical.

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Phantom continues through September 12 at Garland Civic Theatre. Call 972-485-8884.

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This isn't scenery; it's Liberace's basement.

There's plenty of time to take a thorough inventory of director-designer Kyle McClaran's spectacularly style-challenged furnishings and accessories for the Maury Yeston/Arthur Kopit operetta. Running within a wig hair of three hours, this Phantom drags. If it were in drag, it might be bearable. Instead, it is over-earnest, unpolished community theater done with dime-store design elements, dodgy singing, spotty acting and at a pace that threatens spinal stenosis.

Community theater implies modest production budgets and amateur actors working for free (except perhaps the leads). It does not, however, have to look cheap and tacky. It does not have to sound as if everyone is singing through a plastic bullhorn. Bus terminals have better speaker systems than Garland Civic Theatre. And to compensate for the tinny audio, the volume is cranked to 11. When Christine, the ingénue played in this production by Stephanie Hall, hits her high notes, it's like standing too close to the noon whistle.

So much is wrong with this Phantom, starting with the score. Yeston, composer of Nine (and later Titanic), had written the music, and playwright Kopit (Nine, Wings) the libretto in the early 1980s, years before Andrew Lloyd Webber's take on the 1911 Gaston Laroux Phantom of the Opera horror tale. They had backers for a Broadway run, but the money evaporated once Lloyd Webber's show hit big in London and then New York. The Yeston-Kopit Phantom, later subtitled The American Musical Sensation so as not to be confused with the actual musical sensation, was relegated to the hinterlands, starting with a $1.5 million debut staging at Houston's Theatre Under the Stars in 1991.

Kopit made his storyline a mash-up of The Elephant Man, Hunchback of Notre Dame and My Fair Lady. In this Phantom, the masked man is named Erik (played in Garland by Terrence McEnroe). Born to an unmarried opera starlet and raised in a wet subterranean vault beneath the Paris Opera, Erik suffers from congenital ugliness à la Quasimodo. He haunts the theater after hours, leaving hate mail when performances are rotten and killing hapless stagehands sent down to his lair to search for missing props.

This Phantom makes Erik a love-starved monster with a mommy fixation. Pretty street-singer Christine is his Esmeralda/Eliza Doolittle. When Erik peers through his mask at the opera company newcomer who looks exactly like his dead mother (she'd poisoned herself after discovering the philandering baby-daddy was already married), he falls in love. Holding Christine hostage in his pied à terror, Erik gives her voice lessons with the goal of dethroning Carlotta, the reigning opera diva (played by Emily H. Hunt).

Trying for the light operatic flourishes of Sigmund Romberg, Yeston's music is a mess, the score crowded with frou-frou songs that only make Lloyd Webber's screamers sound better by comparison. Phantom's "You Are the Music" lacks the soaring, melodious hook of Phantom of the Opera's "Music of the Night." Even the best of the Yeston-Kopit show, a pleasant ballad called "Home," goes limp and syrupy against "All I Ask of You," Lloyd Webber's lush duet between his Phantom and Christine.

The only good love song in Phantom is "You Are My Own," sung to Erik by his birth father, Carriere (Jackie L. Kemp, giving a nicely subtle performance), who fesses up to père-hood only after Erik has been shot by the gendarmes. Rounding out the opera clichés, Erik, fatally wounded, joins in a rousing, show-ending baritone duet.

That number comes some two hours and 55 minutes into the Garland Civic production, which wastes precious time on lengthy scene change blackouts, during which much crashing and banging can be heard onstage, accompanied by the recorded sound of a tiger's roar. What do jungle noises have to do with a story set in fin de siècle Paris? About as much as that incongruous Chanel fashion poster, those twinkly green disco lights or the back of Christine's frocks, which, as Heidi Klum once observed of an ill-sewn Project Runway gown, are "pooing fabric."

The costumes by Ryan Matthieu Smith are as junk-strewn and haphazard as the scenery. Surely it's meant to be a joke that he put the French policemen in London bobby uniforms and that one of Erik's masks is a clown face from a John Wayne Gacy painting.

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  • JR 09/08/2009 6:17:00 PM

    Wow, you people are VICIOUS! I wish I had read this review before my grandma dragged me to see the "show." Granted, it's community theatre, but as I told my sister, Andrew Lloyd Webber should bitchslap whoever wrote "Phantom." It was BEYOND bad and everything Elaine said is true. I unfortunately missed the wig punting but not the hilarious slow motion scenes. I had to bite my blanket to keep from laughing too loudly. Anon, get some class and spare us your filth. Phantom, even in its best produced form, is FAR from art. So I -- and hopefully Elaine -- will continue to "critisize," as you prefer to spell it.

  • Anon 08/31/2009 11:43:00 PM

    Wow. What a wretched cunt you are. It's easy to critisize art. Quite another to actually create it. Get a real job and quit bitching.

  • Nicole 08/31/2009 5:03:00 PM

    Another note: "All I Ask of You" is a duet between Christine and Raul, not Christine and Phantom.

  • RTO Trainer 08/29/2009 7:42:00 AM

    I have to wonder at the authority of a reviewer who makes comparison to "Liberace's basement" when on the same page appears an add, for an indeterminate extablishemnt, that seems to depict a woman molesting a beaver. The reviewer also displays a disdain not only for the show but for her audience, as well as the breadth of her obvious admiration for her own intellect, by making refernce to "spinal stenosis." Spinal stenosis? I had to look it up. Having done so, I still don't see the connection to the pacing in a show. Fully a third of the review is a comparison of this script with that of the Lloyd Webber musical. I'm about half convinced that this is motivated by the deep disappointment that the reviewer must have felt in not seeing the latter production, not having realized what the difference was,and being overly eager to share her newly won knowledge.

  • Nicole 08/28/2009 3:44:00 PM

    Everyone knows that nothing thrills Elaine Liner more than writing a bad review. She drools over the mistakes of novice actors like a Liberace-inspired tiger with its prey.

  • Dorothy 08/28/2009 2:09:00 AM

    I am so disappointed in the review, although it may be well deserved. There have been many plays at Garland Civic which have been astounding. Unfortunately, your review indicates that this is not one of them. I do hope that corrections can be made so that audiences will GROW and not decrease.Community theater is absolutely necessary to the emotional health of our city during a time of intense emotional and financial stress to families and individuals. A night at the theater at a convenient location is one way to relieve stress and to take a short "mental health" break. Please do not fail to come back and to write a well deserved better review of future productions.

  • tr 08/26/2009 11:27:00 PM

    This article is a hoot! Thank you for saving me the price of a ticket.

 

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