Maple & Motor: Save Us Seat for a Tasty Burger...If You Dare.

I heard that Maple & Motor was small and that you gotta get there early if you don't want to have to wait in line, so I made it to there by 11:30 a.m. A buncha assholes must've heard I was on my way and decided to beat me there, because by the time I rolled up the parking lot was packed and there was already a line of drooling humanity oozing its way out the door.

Outside, there's a sign on the door telling you that you've gotta order before you get yourself a table. This tells me that at some point Dallas showed up in her Sam Moon bangles, was a dick lick and started saving tables for a party of 20 that never showed. Don't ever be this person. This person who saves shit for people. I hate you, Saver. I hate you when you're saving seats at the movies. I hate you when you're saving a spot for your friend in line in front of me. I even hate you when you're saving your virginity for your wedding night as if Jesus gives half a holy turd. (Newsflash: Horrible lays and your mom made that abstinence shit up in the '40s. I was there).

I digress.

Location Info

Map

Maple & Motor

4810 Maple Ave.
Dallas, TX 75219

Category: Restaurant > Burgers

Region: Uptown & Oak Lawn

Details

Maple & Motor 4810 Maple Ave. 214-522-4400

Level of happiness when I saw that they sell a six-pack of PBR for $7: a millionty Times I wished I’d ordered the “drinkable homemade ice cream”: 400

Related Stories

More About

Once inside Maple & Motor, I followed an insider tip and ordered a cheeseburger everything-onnit plus bacon. Add a side of tots (which you can get cheesy-baconed) and a drink. I had intended to get something from the fountain, but on my way over there I noticed the iced tea labeled "Jolly Rancher Tea" was totally seducing me with its spigot. So, I went for it. And oh my Robert Downey Jr., it was so beyond delicious. I'm officially a fan of watermelon Jolly Rancher candy (was it cherry? I think it was watermelon) and iced tea doing the deed.

So, how was the burger? The burger was so good I can't even give you details about the decor of the inside of this place even though I was there like an hour. I blame the happy meat fog. Burger was juicy, still pink in the middle and the meat-to-condiment ratio was spot on. (Some people would call it messy. I would call those people pussies.) This place has its shit together. And by "shit," I mean "sweet, sweet, totally bangable burgers."

 
My Voice Nation Help
8 comments
HL85Swimmer
HL85Swimmer

The food at this place is certainly nothing special. The burger was tasteless and the bun was stale. To top it off, the owner is extremely rude and obnoxious. He also hates children and if you go in with kids they will try to make you feel uncomfortable. This didn't happen to me, but I witnessed it. It was terrible. Don't patronize this jerk.

texaschipmunkarmy
texaschipmunkarmy

It's evident you can cuss like a sailor, but it would be interesting to know if you could write too.

Brian
Brian

I want to be you, Alice, or date you. Either one.

richard schumacher
richard schumacher

Sounds yummy, but... you girls weren't raised Lutheran, were you.

Christiane
Christiane

What a great review, love that enthusiasm on all fronts

Mike
Mike

...genius

Jack
Jack

Why don't you say what you saw. While you're at it, type in your first and last name to give yourself some credibility. Finally, I challenge you and five of your closest friends to a blind taste test. Tasteless? Stale? I'll bet you are.

Shivasgirl66
Shivasgirl66

you are absolutely full of shit, which is probably why you cant taste the awesome burger. My 5yr old twins and disabled 7yr old are welcomed with open arms EVERY time we go, and it is the kids FIRST choice on where we go. My twins even chose to celebrate their bday there, even after I offered pizza and games.. I guess my kids know what's good. Blow your nose, brush your teeth and try it again

 
Loading...