By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
Groundhog Day: It's Election Day. Gotta say something pithy about politics, even though we're going to press before results are in. "Nation's course at stake today," the Morning News' front page blared today. Wow, that's pretty big stuff. Gotta pontificate. Gotta earn that paycheck. Hmm...
Let's see. As usual, Buzz got up today, grabbed a Pop-Tart to munch and sprinted for the bus stop. Smoked. Caught bus. Worked. But tomorrow...well, everything's going to be different. Have to brace for the winds of change. Maybe we'll have a frozen waffle.
Unless, of course, the GOP doesn't win as big as the more serious pontificators predict. Then we'll brace for the breezes of ambivalence and have toast. Or possibly the doldrums of deadlock—a doughnut, perhaps. Hard to say. By Buzz's count, we've had two national mandates and two permanent majorities in six years, according to post-election analysts in 2004, 2006 and 2008. That's a lot of mandatin' and permanency in a short time, so we're feeling a bit whipsawed. Meanwhile, the war's still on, the economy's still in the crapper, rich, powerful guys are still rich and powerful and everyone else is broke.
So, yeah, we're not placing a lot of hope on this round of voting...well, maybe one little bit of hope. Here's wishing that likely winner Governor Rick Perry's melon head continues to expand and he decides to run for president in 2012. Some Perry supporters are already betting that way, as the Austin-base online politics site Quorum Report...er...reports. The Internet addresses www.perryforpresident.com, www.perryforamerica.com and www.rickperryforpresident.com have been snapped up, either by domain-name squatters or fans.
The websites are mostly blank, although the last one was created by a Californian named Robert Greeley, who writes in the site's only post: "I became aware of and interested in Rick 9 years ago, when I sent him a song called 'My Doll From Dallas' for use by the Dallas Tourism Board as their theme song. Rick can oust the Socialist Obama and his horribly retreaded cronies and start the long painful rebuilding of America according to our Constitution and rid us of the inroads of Sharia law."
Nice to know Greeley has his priorities in order. Incidentally, we Googled for the lyrics for "My Doll From Dallas" and found instead a bunch of pictures from tranny websites, i.e. change you can almost believe in.
Still, if this week's elections produce any profound realignments—as if—here's hoping that it inspires Perry to run for White House. One way or the other, it'd get him out of the state.
Call that progress.