Sfuzzi Is Sfrikkin' Douchey but Delicious.

Sfuzzi (Don't try to pronounce it sober. It's a drunk word.) is now open at the location that used to be Split Peas Soup Cafe. (I know, you're thinking, "You mean that didn't last?? I can't believe all those drunk, single teenagers and sleazy, married-but-not-wearing-the-ring dongs decided not to spend their Uptown bar-hopping time at a soup place." I agree. I thought all the cool kids hooked up over soup. Everyone's chugged soup, blacked out and ended up in the wrong crack den at least once in their lives, right?)

Walking in the door, I felt like I was sneaking into the home of a high-dollar Italian hooker: red-curtained walls, giant mirrors, black paint, a high-dollar Italian hooker (or maybe she just worked at Express). This place is clearly hoping to be hopping at Let's Pretend We Live In A Cool City hour.

If you grew up in Dallas like I did, that weird Sfuzzi name rings a bell. I told my server that I remembered the old restaurant that was also on McKinney back in the day. She said, "You mean, like, from 18 years ago??" She meant, "You were alive then?"

The lunch menu at Sfuzzi has many options just under 10 bucks. Online, it lists a menu of only eight items under $10, but the lunch menu must have been updated, because now there are 10 lunchy offerings (mainly half-sandwiches-plus-salad or pasta-plus-salad) plus nine pizzas (Neapolitan crust and served in a 7-inch lunch portion) at price points just under $10. Score.

After exactly zero seconds, I made the obvious pizza choice: "I'll have the Texas farm-raised eggs and bacon pizza, please." Bacon. And egg. On pizza. Holy awesome, this pizza totally farm-freshed my face. The crust was perfect—not soggy. The egg was gooey and tasted amazing with bacon. It was like having breakfast and lunch simultaneously. It was like a high-end deconstructed breakfast Hot Pocket. Plus basil, minus the shits.

Online reviewers have trashed the service at Sfuzzi, but when I was there, it was great. Slightly overattentive, even. Skip their five-dollar valet and grab a cheap, delicious lunch here before the sun sets.

Sfuzzi 2533 McKinney Ave. 214-953-0300

Other people eating lunch here at 12:30 p.m. count: 5

Hovering busboy count: 1

 
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