Varsity Grill: Deep-fried Menu Would Go Better With Beer.

The Varsity Grill recently opened in the same spot that used to be Coach's Burgers. Other than the name change, the decor looks exactly the same. Even the menu is similar. Seems to me opening a sports-themed burger restaurant in the same place that a sports-themed burger restaurant recently tanked is a fail wish, but maybe the owners just have Alec Baldwin's brass balls and a magic lucky unicorn.

The menu at Varsity Grill has a ton of cheap, fried appetizer options including fried cheese, fried mushrooms, fried green beans and fried mozzarella sticks. (Dearest The Varsity Grill, Q: Jesus, there's a lot of fried food on your menu...Oh, sorry, that's not a question. Here's the question: How hard would it be to add fried chocolate-covered strawberries to the menu? A: Not hard at all. So, do that. You're welcome. Hearts, Alice) They even have broccoli bites, which brought back some nightmare flashbacks of waiting tables at a Bennigan's. I won't get graphic with the gross details. I'll just say it was a complete splooge wreck that served up more DNA than actual food. If you've ever been a dick to a waiter, you've never worked at a Bennigan's.

Instead of getting the eye-twitch-inducing broccoli bites, I had the $6.49 bacon cheeseburger. (You choose your type of bun, cheese and toppings. I highly recommend the jalapeño cheddar bun. They butter it. Whoa. Burger notes: juicy, but ask for it medium if you don't want it well-done.) The burger came with a side of fries (just average, so go with onion rings or cheese fries instead) and a drink.

You buncha tightwads will be glad to know that this is an order-at-the-counter-no-official-waiter-but-someone-does-bring-your-food-to-your-table establishment. So, you still get that nice, fancy feeling of being served—without having to leave any more of your precious nickels behind.

Here's hoping that now that Prop. 1 and 2 have passed, beer will soon be added to The Varsity Grill's fried-happy menu. Because nothing goes better with fried than drunk.

The Varsity Grill 9310 Forest Lane 214-342-3000

Other customers count: 3
Fried options on the menu count: one millionty

 
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