By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
You say you want a revolution: In a TV interview, Republican congressional candidate Stephen Broden says that violent revolution is an option that's "on the table" to remove a tyrannical U.S. government. Dallas Republican leaders quickly distance themselves from the remarks. Broden, endorsed by Sarah Palin and a favorite son of the Tea Party in his bid to unseat U.S. Representative Eddie Bernice Johnson, blames the ensuing controversy on the media. "Once again we have a case in which the liberal mainstream media, in their continued gross unfairness to idiots, have ruthlessly recorded what a Tea Party supporter said, reported it accurately and insisted that what was said means something."
He never studied: Mayor Tom Leppert and other city officials express deep frustration with the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, blaming the agency for continued delays in repairing the Trinity River levees before a federal deadline to create new flood maps that take into account the levees' deteriorated state. Failure to repair the levees in time could require countless property owners near the river to purchase costly flood insurance and lower property values–not to mention, you know, drown people. Dave Neumann, chairman of the city council's Trinity project committee, tells reporters he was "shocked and blindsided" by the Corps' declaration that the levees might not withstand a 100-year flood, adding: "Here we were just rocking along with the project in 2010, and suddenly I'm told the levees are for shi...Huh? Whaddya mean 'they said that in 2009?' No kidding, in the papers and everything? Guess I oughtta start paying more attention."
Prospects for peace: Democratic incumbents are returned to county offices, and the party wins a majority on the commissioners court as Dr. Elba Garcia defeats long-time commissioner Ken Mayfield in November's election. Democratic leaders are thrilled by the county's blue tilt in an election that saw Republicans make major gains at the state and national levels, but others fear the party's grip may dash hopes for greater civility among county officials. "Oh, man, if you thought Republicans and Democrats went at it hammer and tongs, wait till you see what a Democratic majority can do to itself," one courthouse observer says. In other election news, Dallas voters approve a measure that would allow the retail sale of packaged beer and wine throughout the city, over the objections of liquor store owners, city councilman Dwaine Caraway and a coalition of southern Dallas ministers. Caraway fears that the spread of legal alcohol sales in dry parts of his district will lead to an increase in drunkenness and crime. "Drinking beer and wine is a terrible vice," Caraway says. "As it stands now, a man in my district can hardly go out for a genteel night of sipping tea and playing poker for, um, funsies without fear of getting rolled—or a parking ticket."
No more mister nice guy: After an embarrassing 1-7 start to the NFL season, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones names assistant head coach Jason Garrett the team's interim coach, replacing Wade Phillips, who tells reporters he is leaving professional football to return to his true calling, becoming a Walmart greeter at his hometown of Orange, Texas.
Easy being green: DART opens its Green Line to Carrollton, bringing light-rail to thousands of new suburban riders. A DART spokesman says service began smoothly, despite some initial confusion among first-time riders who arrive at rail stations pantsless. "We just want all our new customers to know that, yes, they are allowed to wear pants and, no, we can't do anything to make that Jesus guy and the woman on the cell phone shut the hell up."
Ho, ho, ho: First Baptist Church pastor Robert Jeffress angers some non-Christians with the creation of www.GrinchAlert.com, a website intended to identify groups and businesses that don't adequately acknowledge Christmas' religious origin. Among those targeted on the site's "naughty list" are companies that use the words "happy holidays" rather than "merry Christmas" to mark the season. Also targeted are stores that tell customers "feliz Navidad." "Fleas navvy dad," says one First Baptist member, "what in the heck does that mean? Listen, it's called Christmas, get it? Not Fleas-mas or Nepo-mass or any of them other durn things."
Ah, nostalgia: Former President George W. Bush and wife Laura are joined by former Vice President Dick Cheney in turning over ceremonial shovels of dirt at the official groundbreaking for the George W. Bush Presidential Center. Cheney tells Bush that "history is beginning to come around" as the public takes a kinder view of Bush's two terms in office. "As time passes, more and more people will join me in looking back on your record of war, water-boarding, homophobia and economic collapse and saying, 'Those were the good old days.'"