Oh God, yes: It's been a double spit-take week here at Buzz HQ, thanks to The Dallas Morning News opinion pages —and frankly, we wish the paper would knock it off. Spraying mouthfuls of our "afternoonish" bourbon is a waste of perfectly good liquor.
Speaking of wasted fluids, what first left Buzz choking in surprise was the News' decision to publish Chicago Tribune columnist Steve Chapman's encomium to pornography in Monday's paper. Hooray for porn in the Morning News? We imagined that didn't sit well with subscribers, but we spewed our second mouthful when we spoke to an employee in the editorial section, who told us the column received only two responses—a letter to the editor and a phone call.
It's rare that a News column catches us off guard, since the paper is so reliably conservative, sort of like how Donald Trump is reliably an asshole. But this one did—and so did Dallas' response. What, no flood of irate phone calls from offended readers, threatening to cancel their subscriptions for the 19th time this month? No hordes of protesters waving their walkers in rage?
Just read what Chapman wrote in his column, which argued against censoring Internet porn: "It would be easier to make the case that adult entertainment is more beneficial than it's harmful." He went on to cite Harvard economist Benjamin Edelman's assertion that in places where porn is most popular, more people donate blood, volunteer or do community work.
Which, incidentally, gives us a brilliant idea for the next United Way campaign. Also, we just remembered we're way overdue to give blood.
Edelman also authored a report a couple of years back that found that folks in God-fearing, moral states like Utah are more inclined to subscribe to pay porn websites than elsewhere. That claim didn't please the God-fearing, or Utah, at the time. Another study not mentioned by Chapman found that folks in blue states prefer adult escort sites, while red staters gravitate toward wife-swapping sites. Always looking for a bargain, those conservative skinflints.
But back to our point: Some Harvard guy besmirches the good names of Bible-thumpers, his words are echoed in Dallas' only daily and nothing happens? Either porn really is becoming more acceptable or only three people—Buzz and the two complainers—actually read the column.
Or perhaps both.
"Huh," we said to the News staffer, who also expected more excitement. "It's a new world."
"Maybe a better one," she replied.
Luckily, we'd already finished our bourbon.
