Taqueria La Tejanita at Flash Mart: Nothing Flashy, But Go

"Ever had the tacos at Flash Mart?" sounds like a crappy pick-up line some drunk chick would give you at Ghostbar. But, seriously, have you ever had them? No, of course there are no flashers inside the Flash Mart on Abrams Road. Gah. Everyone knows they're all at DISD high schools early in the morning. There is, however, the wonderful smell of barbacoa plus bacon thanks to their little taco stand, Taquería La Tejanita.

For brunch, I ordered a bacon and egg breakfast taco, a potato and egg breakfast taco, a barbacoa taco and a pastor taco. Got a giant cup of coffee and all four tacos for just $7.01. Suck it, Starbucks.

If you're more of a beer-with-brunch kind of person, there's a huge selection of beer at Flash Mart just for you, as well as a ridiculously large selection of incense, keychain wallets and cell phone covers.

The breakfast tacos were both on tiny flour tortillas and the filling-to-tortilla ratio was great: These things were piled high with eggs, bacon and potatoes. Refreshing, compared with a lot of places that somehow manage to put half an egg and a wad of bacon spittle on a giant tortilla and call it good to go. Taste-wise, these breakfast tacos were mother-boning amazing. Pour their red sauce or that stupid delicious green sauce on top and they're the breakfast of your dreams.

The juicy barbacoa and pineapple-y pastor tacos were on corn tortillas, and the kitchen just as heavy-handed with the filling of these magnificent little gifts from the food gods.

I'm happy these tacos were good. But, more than that, high fives to Taquería La Tejanita for figuring out what other Americanized taco stands still haven't: Name your taco stand anything in English and it sounds like lady-part euphemism. Proof: Velvet Taco. Rusty Taco. Fuzzy's Taco.

Even the sweetest, most innocent-sounding English word next to "taco" goes euphemism-y. Proof: Sweet Taco. Innocent Taco. Puppy Taco. Taquería La Tejanita in English: Little Texan Girl Taco.

Naming a taco stand? Stick with the Spanish. Eating at Taquería La Tejanita? Get the barbacoa and a bacon breakfast taco.

 
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6 comments
Brent D.
Brent D.

" Refreshing, compared with a lot of places that somehow manage to put half an egg and a wad of bacon spittle on a giant tortilla and call it good to go." I see what you did there. Funny and I agree.

JonathanG
JonathanG

Abrams and what cross street? Gah. Abrams is a long road and Google is too difficult to use.

El Tejanito
El Tejanito

"Mother-boning"? "Lady-part euphemism"? Maricón…just because you have an incestuous streak and really want to talk dirty, doesn’t mean we want to read your psychological profile. Lay off of the sexist shit in your reviews, mang. You want to be creative? Use a *real* thesaurus.

752xx
752xx

abrams and park lane. happy eatin'!

Abuela
Abuela

Wait, you are insulted by taco names but begin your tirade with "fag"? Let's examine this.

PlatypusRage
PlatypusRage

Yeah. No *fake* thesauruses.Theraurusai. Thesaurus'. Shit. If only I had a *real* thesaurus to consult.

 
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