By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
Dear Mexican: GOP Senator Mel Martinez authored a decent compromise bill to resolve the growing illegal immigration problem. He broke up the group of 11 million illegals into three classes. Those in the United States for two or fewer years would be expelled. Those in the country for two to five years would get in line and pay a fine. Those who had been in the country for longer than five years would be granted full citizenship following payment of a fine.
I believe that rampant illegal (and I'm not afraid to use the word "illegal" because it is accurate) immigration is not good for the country, nor for the citizenry or illegal immigrants. I believe that the rising number of conservative Hispanics (New Mexico Governor Susana Martinez, Brian Sandoval of Nevada and Florida Senator Marco Rubio) are making the growing case for Hispanics, whether born or naturalized in this country, who are tired of unchecked illegal immigration. Please share your thoughts on this trend.
Dear Gabacho: Mel Martinez's proposal is tantamount to apartheid and is as laughable a ploy to get Mexis to vote Republican as a recent proposal by the Lincoln Club of Orange County, one of the nation's most powerful fundraising groups, to "solve" our nation's illegal-immigrant "problem" by letting them become permanent residents, but not allowing them to ever become citizens. There is no "rise" in conservative "Hispanics" in los Estados Unidos — vendidos have always existed, and Mexicans are natural-born conservatives who don't go with Republicans because of the party's demonization of Mexican culture. And lastly, ain't it hilarious how Susana Martinez is spending thousands of dollars in campaign funds to try and prove her grandparents weren't illegals?
My wife is an elementary school teacher. She claims that Mexican children with Anglo first names do better in school and on standardized exams than Mexican children with Mexican first names. Your thoughts, please.
—White Guy Who is Married to a Mexican-American
Dear Gabacho: "The Relationship Between First Names and Teacher Expectations for Achievement Motivation," in the March 2008 issue of the Journal of Language and Social Psychology, found that teachers in a test case conducted in Dallas elementary schools consistently gave lower achievement scores to a sample student with a Latino first name (Xavier) than a gabacho one (Ethan) when all other factors were equal. Rather than put the blame squarely on teacher bigotry, the researchers targeted the names themselves. "Although names can represent family, culture, heritage, religion, and parents' hopes and dreams," the researchers concluded, "parents should understand that hopes and dreams can also be compromised by the power of a name." ¡Pinche pendejos! Parents: Proudly name your kiddies Xochitl, Tenorio and your boys Guadalupe.