Victoria Jackson, Tea Party Princess

Victoria Jackson went from the big leagues of comedy to the rabid right of modern politics.

But Paul had a competitor. "I kind of had a crush on 'Weird Al' Yankovic," Victoria confesses. "We kind of went on a date, but I don't know if he loved me or not."

In Victoria's brain, "there was this fork in the road." Down one path: Paul Wessel and Jesus, with their matching abs, and life as a poor, pious housewife in Miami. Down the other: "Weird Al," SNL and loads of sinful showbiz cash.

After making up her mind, she got a tattoo of Paul's initials on her lower back. "Because he's the one that ruined my life," she explains without irony.

Half Nelson, Victoria Jackson's sitcom with Joe Pesci, lasted all of six episodes.
Courtesy of Victoria Jackson
Half Nelson, Victoria Jackson's sitcom with Joe Pesci, lasted all of six episodes.
Jackson with pizza magnate and former Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain.
Courtesy of Victoria Jackson
Jackson with pizza magnate and former Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain.

That's why she quit SNL in 1992, she says. She headed back to "the swamp" — as she calls Miami — to marry Paul. Two years later, they had a daughter named Aubrey. Victoria's movie career quickly dried to a crust.

But there's one problem with her morality tale, in which she sacrificed riches and fame to make the perfect God-fearing family.

"No, no, no," agent Dolores Robinson clucks when relayed her former client's claim that she quit SNL. "They dropped her."


Outside a Miami Lakes Starbucks in the pouring rain, Victoria sits under an awning that provides only partial cover. Water soaks her bare legs and pools on her Mac laptop and cell phone. With her Flip cam balanced on a stack of conservative books — Marx & Satan, Socialism Shakedown, The Manchurian President — she recounts taking her youngest daughter, 17-year-old Aubrey, to a "gay party" held by Victoria's "newest gay friend, Seth." (Victoria claims to have three gay friends — Seth, Alex and Glen — and she makes frequent mention of them.)

"After we left, I asked my daughter what she thought," Victoria says, her eyeglasses missing an earpiece and tilting down her nose. "She said, 'It felt like they were sad and ashamed.' Out of the mouth of babes!

"If you get killed because you're gay, the murderer gets extra time. It's hilarious! Alcoholism is a sin too, but you don't see an alcoholic pride parade. Alcoholics hide in little rooms in basements and they go, 'Hi, I'm Fred.'"

A pair of women huddling from the rain gape at her. Victoria sometimes wonders why she can't get a mainstream gig. Is it her weight? "It's OK to be a liberal and be fat," she complains. "You've got Oprah, Rosie, you've got Joy Behar, you've got Whoopi, you've got the other ones on The View. [Or] if you're black, you're allowed to be fat, and that's sassy, sexy. But if you're white, you're not really allowed to be fat."

Victoria often blames Democratic policies for her modest, Honda-driving life. Her family lives in a $200,000 townhouse with a concrete dock on a murky green pond. Her husband, now an MDPD helicopter pilot, makes $120,000 annually. But, she says, alimony to the fire-eater left them broke. Public records reveal that Nisan sued her in 1995, claiming she owed $89,000.

The cash shortage spawned a sad, short stand-up comedy career. In the early '00s, Victoria worked clubs around the country while the couple raised two daughters. She made about $4,000 a weekend, she says. Her material was mostly riffing on hating Miami. She did gigs with SNL alumni Lovitz and Kevin Nealon, as well as forgotten former cast member Joe Piscopo. That last pairing was called "the most depressing Saturday Night Live reunion ever" by the Onion's A.V. Club.

In 2004, she released a self-produced full-length documentary about the grief of being away from her family. It debuted at the Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival. "Nobody watched it," she says. Much of it is close-up footage of her sobbing in hotel beds.

But then she discovered something life-changing: When she talked about Obama being a member of the Muslim Brotherhood, people watched — and cared. Then job offers came.

In 2007, 15 years removed from SNL, she traveled back to Tinseltown for a last-ditch stab at becoming an "airhead on a sitcom." She explains, "I liked the idea of getting $100,000 a week for having five lines that someone else wrote, and I could do airhead better than anyone. That's my specialty! It would be effortless."

Victoria says she knew nothing about politics and rarely voted. But because "everybody in Hollywood is liberal and Jewish," the best way to network was through a cagey group of industry conservatives.

She refuses to name what she calls a "secret organization," but Victoria is clearly talking about Friends of Abe (FOA). Celebrities who have confessed to being among its 1,800-plus members include Pat Boone, Jon Voight, Kelsey Grammer and Gary Sinise. Started in 2007 by "two guys in their trailer whispering that they respected Bush," Victoria says, it's something like a support group for conservatives who fear being blacklisted for their beliefs.

She joined these new friends at film screenings. They watched Blocking the Path to 9/11, which claimed Bill and Hillary Clinton squelched a muckraking documentary. And then there was Hype, about the radical Chicago connections of then-candidate Obama. For Victoria — though she wouldn't appreciate the metaphor — it was a Malcolm-X-picking-up-the-Koran moment. This is Orwell! This is 1984! she says she thought about the movie. "And I was like, No! I gave a copy [of Hype] to my agent. She never thanked me."

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19 comments
Len
Len

Why should I be surprised that someone who gained fame by acting like an airhead is now demonstrating that it wasn't an act?

Charles443
Charles443

I don't agree with Victoria Jackson's politics, but if you're going to do a hatchet job on someone, could you at least not make it so obvious? For instance:

Why would you quote that useless ranking of the funniest people ever on SNL? As a 20-year professional comedy writer for morning radio, and someone old enough to have watched every season of SNL since the premiere episode, I can assure you there's no justification for ranking her last, other than politics. I saw that list the day it appeared and immediately dismissed it as twaddle from an uninformed source, for that and many other reasons (he had her ranked below people who were on for only a few weeks and didn't appear in a single memorable sketch). It was clearly worthless, yet you quoted it as if it were some sort of authoritative source, just to get one more dig in at her.

Likewise, you quote Jan Hooks slamming her without bothering to mention Hooks' possible personal motivations for wanting to put her down. There's a well-known anecdote, recounted in Tom Shales' book about SNL, about how Hooks and Nora Dunn were so domineering and obnoxious, they'd demoralized the entire cast and crew to the point that the producers held a meeting to ask what was poisoning the atmosphere. Everyone else was afraid to speak up until Victoria Jackson finally pointed at them and said, "Oh for god's sake, everybody knows it's because of them!" Awkward moment. Think it might have made Jan Hooks a less than objective source on assessing Victoria's talent? This story might have taken all of five minutes' research on Google to unearth.

I get it that you wanted to do a hit piece on her because of her politics, but try to have the decency to be objective in assessing the person's talent in unrelated fields. Otherwise, you're no better than a right-winger railing about the communists in Hollywood whose movies he boycotts.

Everette Morgan
Everette Morgan

Politics have definitely gone to lunacy on the right you have your Victoria Jackson's and on the left you have your..mm...never mind. No one is like her!

catbird
catbird

Loved her "Lucy-esque" character on SNL and was pleased do discover she is a conservative Christian with the courage to take a public patriotic stand.

Call me crazy (and I know you will) but she is spot on about Obama and what he intends for the country.

jhon8541
jhon8541

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jhon8541
jhon8541

My best friend ,she just has announced her wedding with a millinaire manRonald who is the

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you can mee one, the most important is you can find yourtrue l-o-v-e! right?

Dl
Dl

Insane uneducated bimbos: The darlings of the tea party. What a sad joke this woman has become. She and Orly Taitz can hit the road together.

Chris Danger
Chris Danger

I know folks are blasting her, but I feel for her, she, like mel gibson, has had issues throughout her life with what appears to be some form of mental illness. Sane people don't act like this, no matter the political affiliation. I hope she can upright herself and get away from all the poisonous thought and nonsense, then get her career back on track..

Baywolfe
Baywolfe

We do remember this lady is a dipshit, right?

UnFair Pork
UnFair Pork

OMG!

"...and I could do airhead better than anyone. That's my specialty! It would be effortless."

'Nuff said.

mojorisin73
mojorisin73

I would have to say she is a typical Fox News Neo-Con having supported Bachman, whom is no longer in the race. If she was for real Constitutional Conservative principles, then she would be supporting Texas Congressman Dr. Ron Paul for the GOP nomination instead of a bunch of Patriot Act and NDAA loving Neo-Cons. She might want to add "Liberty Defined" by Dr. Ron Paul, in her collection of books, read and memorize the 10 principles to a free society.

Darrylrs
Darrylrs

This bitch was never funny and now she's just freaking insame.

Montemalone
Montemalone

She's just one of however many other freakazoids. Blaming Democrats for her failed marriage? I still remember her scene in Baby Boom as a nanny gettin naked with a guy and getting caught with her hands on her boobs. How conservative is that?

cupoftea
cupoftea

Victoria Jackson is an idiot. She needs to shut up and go away and hang her stupid head in shame. She is a complete embarassment. World Net Daily is like a crazy version of some freakish Christian tabloid. Their so called news is usually quite nutty. It fitures she'd write for them.

Inked_Alice
Inked_Alice

She is *literally* the problem in this country. Spouting insane theories that she picks up from here and there, with zero understanding of what she's saying. Illegals will vote because of cheating... REALLY? Wow.

She's apparently even too stupid to realize how much she shouldn't have done this interview.

UnFair Pork
UnFair Pork

I kinda like the fact that they're proud of their opinions and not afraid to toss them right out there. At least then we know what we're dealing with.

And the "I'm homophobic and don't like to undress around other men" thingy from her dad is just... priceless.

Steve
Steve

So why is that dumb, fat pig pretending to be hot?

 
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