By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
BUY TACO USA! Gentle cabrones: My much-promised Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America has finally hit bookstores! Place your order with your favorite local bookstore, your finer online retailers, your craftier piratas. And stay tuned for book signing info!
Why do Mexicans with lowriders have murals on their hoods and trunks/tailgates? And how come they always have waterfalls and half-naked chicks?
—The Crazy Filipino
Dear Chinito: The art, of course, comes from Mexico's proud muralist tradition. Their placement on cars comes from kustom kulture, born in Southern California and freely mixing with Mexican traditions from the 1950s onward. Half-naked chicks? Like you have to ask!
What's the deal with Mexicans and scratch-off lottery tickets? Is it the lure of the instant gratification of immediately getting back the $2 return on their $10 investment, or is it because they're afraid that immigration might be waiting when they try to cash their Lotto ticket?
—Learn Other Temptations
Dear Gabacho: The only comprehensive survey involving the racial and ethnic demographics of lottery players is an annual survey compiled by the University of Houston's Hobby Center for Public Policy. In its 2010 report, it found that while the percentage of "Hispanics" who played scratch-off lotto tickets didn't vary significantly from gabachos (55.6 percent of Mexis surveyed played, while a whopping 72.2 percent of negritos did the same), the median amount of dollars spent per month by Mexis was much higher than everyone else: $8.50, as opposed to five bucks for gabachos y negritos alike. The Hobby Center's study unfortunately didn't offer any explanation for the discrepancy, although other lottery researchers have determined that Mexis prefer scratch-off tickets because of their low cost and the easy availability.
CONFIDENTIAL TO: The Albuquerque idiot who has called libraries and bookstores where I've been doing signings demanding that they cancel my event because my column is supposedly racist. Pendejo: If the Anti-Defamation League laughed you off, you think anyone else is going to take you seriously? Become a productive member of society: Buy many copies of my books and donate them to the underground libraries being set up by the Librotraficante.