The Story of the Handsome Guy Bandit Was Made for Hollywood*

(*The Handsome Guy Bandit thinks so, anyway.)

"I don't have the ring yet, but you saw the diamond," he told her. "I put $10,000 down. As soon as I've got it, I want you to marry me."

Talk to me once you actually have the ring, she told him, taking his extravagance with a massive grain of salt. Still, she says, "I felt like Cinderella."

But when they were checking out the next day, Milam's wallet suddenly went missing. "Do you mind paying for the hotel room and I'll get you back?" he asked her. She later found the wallet shoved in a back-seat pocket in her car.

Milam in 2005 with then-girlfriend Alli (center) and a friend inside a limo he rented for Alli's birthday.
Courtesy of Alli
Milam in 2005 with then-girlfriend Alli (center) and a friend inside a limo he rented for Alli's birthday.


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A few weeks later Milam was back at the Shuck N Jive, hanging out with their mutual friend, Josh Poteate. As Poteate later testified, Milam said he wanted to take a ride. The two drove to a nearby Compass Bank, parked but didn't get out. Then Milam suggested that they switch seats and directed Poteate to drive to a nearby Wells Fargo. Apparently satisfied with what he saw, Milam hopped out of the car and disappeared into the bank.

Teller Amy McDaniels was working that day. She watched Milam enter with a phone to his ear, wearing a Nike jacket, a Nike cap and dark sunglasses. He approached her station and handed her a bag. Inside she found a note: Remain calm. This is a robbery. Put all the money in the bag.

McDaniels slipped $2,753 into the bag and handed it back. Milam grabbed the note, wadded it up, put it in his jacket pocket and walked calmly out of the bank. He never said a word.

By then, Milam and Poteate had been gone from Shuck N Jive for so long that Alli was getting worried. She phoned Milam; he answered, sounding winded, like he was running. "No big deal," he assured her. "I'll explain later." He had something important to tell her, he said.

They stopped at a 7-Eleven so Milam could grab a soda, then returned to the Shuck N Jive. Milam lingered outside; when he came in, he was wearing a different shirt and no baseball cap. Poteate overheard Milam say he'd just "knocked over" a bank.

At Wells Fargo, a police officer working the case thought the teller's story sounded familiar. He drove on a hunch to a parking lot on Rosemeade Parkway. It was there, he remembered, that he'd hunted down the tracking device from a similar robbery a few weeks before. In the parking lot he noticed a 2003 Lincoln Navigator with Illinois plates, just like the car witnesses from that first robbery described. It was parked outside the Shuck N Jive.

The officer peered into the SUV's window and spotted a black Nike jacket and baseball cap lying next to a yellow legal pad. He approached a valet, who told the officer that two guys had pulled up in the Navigator not long before. One was the manager's boyfriend, the valet said, and led the cops inside.

Alli looked out the window and saw a slew of cop cars in the parking lot. She had "this sinking feeling," she says, and knew Milam was involved. She walked onto the floor of the restaurant to find him being cuffed.

"What's going on?"

"He's a possible suspect in a bank robbery," an officer told her.

"He's a millionaire," she said. "Why would he need to rob banks?"

An FBI agent showed her a surveillance photo of Milam in a bank, and she finally understood that Milam wasn't a millionaire playboy after all. "My whole world came crashing in," she says.

Milam and Poteate were taken to Denton County Jail. Poteate quickly asked to speak with a lawyer. When Poteate disappeared from jail the next day, Milam says, he knew that he'd been sold out. (No one else was charged in the robberies.)

"Poor Josh," Alli says. "He just had no idea what was going on."

Her relationship with Milam pretty much ended that day, Alli says. But he sent hundreds of letters from jail. At first he proclaimed his innocence. But once he was convicted — on two charges of taking money from a bank "by force, violence or intimidation" — his story changed.

"I did it because I needed to pay you back," he told her.

Milam was sentenced to 24 months, which he served at the federal prison in El Reno, Oklahoma. In his letters he told Alli to have the contents of a storage unit he owned sent to her, so she could sell them off and recoup some the money she'd spent on the hotel room. In the unit, she found a washer and dryer, some flat-screen TVs, a road bike and several pictures of Milam's ex-wife April, whom Milam had divorced just before meeting Alli. Alli had been totally unaware of her existence.

Alli also learned that the story about the pool-cleaning business was true. Sort of. He had sold it for a tidy profit, which he and April burned through living on the road, spending large and staying in lavish hotels, often in the Governor's Suite.

The "Handsome Guy" is an astonishingly high-quality silicone mask made by SPFX Masks, a California company that does a lot of work for Hollywood. It goes for $810 without any enhancements (like a mustache or a neck tattoo), and it looks eerily like a real face. Handsome Guy is white and bald, with a light dusting of stubble and a few tiny freckles. Two years ago, a video of the mask went viral, garnering over a million pageviews on YouTube. The guy wearing the mask wasn't even doing anything, just poking at the mask, pulling the lower lip down, getting right next to the camera so you can see the pores and tiny creases in the skin.

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The Handsome Guy Bandit is opening an interest Facebook page. It will have all of the stories of the Handsome Guy Bandit and his rebuttal to the Observer story. Find out about Alli and the bank bags and how she was involved and her boyfirend fiance was in jail on meth and gun charges. Find out about Josh and what he did and how he contributed. Find out how many people were involved.


The Handsome Guy Bandit has a rebuttal to this article. It is too long to put in the comments section and the editor does not think it is newsworthy although Anna Merlan invited him to make a rebuttal. Anyone interested in reading the whole rebuttal call the Observer and tell them so they will post it. It tells about Alli and Josh and what exactly happened.


Coming up with names for bandits has to be one of the better jobs going. Fat Assed Bandit, Stoned Buffoon Bandit, Pseudo Intellectual Bandit, Fidgety Fuckin' Bandit ... it would be like managing the Village People, only with more job security.

Lisa Hardaway
Lisa Hardaway

What handsome guy isn't some variety of bandit?


I HOPE this becomes a Lifetime movie because since Anna's very well written and entertaining article came out, many of my friends are telling me more and more that I didn't know about Steve.

TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

This has "Lifetime" movie written all over it. Hell, "Handsome Guy" is even the perfect LMN title.


"[F]amily and exercise and cremated pets couldn't scratch his every itch."

This is my new favorite sentence. I'm not sure why.

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

There but for the grace of God go I.  I might have been the "Gorgeous Gal" bandit.  [Myrna snickers...]


@Daniel I feel compelled to tell you that there is also a ZZ Top Bandit. The FBI: apparently funnier than we realized. 


@AlliKim  I hope it does too Alli the the world will know your boyfriend/fiance was in jail for meth and gun charges and your your mate was convicted by the feds for conterfieting durling the three weeks you slept with Steve whom you knew was married to April at the time. I also hopes it becomesa movie so people will see that you supplied the two bank bags from Shuck N Jive during the 2 robberies he did during the time he was with you. Josh was on probabtion. There were 5 people involved. Allie you are no saint but you can tell some lies girl but what do you expect from a bar manager. You are trash and that's all there is so to it. You also accepted a 5000.00 check from one of Steve's relatives to pay for that hotel room in Austin because you wanted it on your American Express  for the the points but he was in custody when the bill came in. Yep I hope it's made into a movie so you look like the trash you are.Anyone who wishes to question this may look up the information and find it is all true.