As a child, it was Christmas morning that sparked your fascination, causing you to stir early, excited about the day’s unlimited potential. As an adult living in Dallas, we have our own special holiday: Super Drunk St. Patrick’s Day Parade Afternoon, Now With Potential Vomiting. It has everything you’ve ever hoped for in a perfect day: relaxing time spent with thousands of your closest friends, kegs more plentiful than drinking fountains and, best of all, Snoop Dogg Lion will be there to serenade your vices. This is why you grew up. You’ll want to start your morning properly, with an Irish cream coffee and an assembly line of pals, working together to make those Jell-O shots you got too stoned to make the night before. Next, call a cab and have them drop you off at the Sam’s Club parking lot where the floats meet up, because this year you’re getting on one. Here’s how you do that: Pick a float with cute boys or girls — whichever you’re into — then flirt your way aboard. It’s really that easy. Next, share your Jell-O shots and win everyone over with your culinary prowess. When the parade ends, grab some solid food, then take your new friends over to the Energy Square Parking Lot (4849 Greenville Ave.) to see the Doggfather himself. He’s headlining the greatest St. Patrick’s Day party that Dallas has ever seen. A.Dd+, Ishi and Badfish will be on hand to support his Snoopiness, which is brought to you by us, your pals at the Dallas Observer. Now, let’s all get shitcanned and make bad decisions. Tickets cost $15. Get them at ticketfly.com.
Sat., March 16, 2013