By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
Dear Mexican: I would be interested in hearing your point of view regarding our raza always voting for someone with a Latino last name, without even considering if the vato/vata is qualified for a particular office. Often I hear comments like, "If he is Latino, it makes up for all the years of injustice." But don't you think that our Mexican forefathers and recent immigrant friends left our native countries because Latino politicians have been unable to govern without corruption? Lately, we have seen what happens when we vote for Latinos without engaging in the issues or their backgrounds — just look at the California cities of Bell, Cudahy and Pico Rivera, where I live. What can we do to help our people do the right thing?
Tony Villar is a Vendido
Dear Wab: Mira, Latinos are not somehow more predisposed to corruption in politics, so your theory that Latinos immigrated to the United States for its less-corrupt politics is like saying Mexicans like pinto beans because they produce fabulous pedos. That said, I do join you in railing against Mexis voting for the Mexi on the ballot just because they're Mexi. The only way around this is education, education, educacíon — but we live in the United States, where questions like the following are far more pressing to our raza ...
My camaradas and I always discuss celebrity women and how we would like to court them and make sweet love to them! It turns out we wind up always talking about Raquel Welch, Moncia Belluci, Paquita la del Barrio and Lindsay Lohan (Lindsay is la reyna of them all). And we ask ourselves: Why is it that she is our hot topic of conversation every time we talk about women and sex? Do you think she might possibly be Mexican? She is always going to court because of legal and financial problems. Is it that somehow deep down inside, we want to be her father figure like that one puto sings about? Es porque esta tiernita, fresquesita, chiquitita y güerita that we find ourselves lusting for this nice piece of chamorro!
Le Chorizo del douleur
Dear Frenchy: Mexicans like Lindsay Lohan? Sure, she appeared naked in Machete, but I would peg Kate Upton before LiLo as the current gabacha Mexican man crush. Then again, they both are an hombre's ultimate combo plate of desire: gabachas, young and chichonas.