As a landlocked city, Dallas is home to very few sailors. Without their oceanic seasmarts, our collective knowledge of knot tying is held captive in slow-buffering You Tube tutorials. That’s fine, unless you’re attempting to slipknot your lover to an antique headboard, in which case you’ll look like such a chump. Nobody wants to hear “Just a minute; it’s about to load,” while they’re blindfolded. Learn to be a silver tongue-tied sadomasochist at this weekend’s Bondage Expo Dallas, which runs from Friday through Sunday. There you can brush up on technique, and meet like-minded enthusiasts, during workshops like: “Tying for Speed and Efficiency,” “Predicaments and Endurance in Hogties” and “Mummification.” And since spending an entire weekend doing book learning is a drag, each day’s sessions close out with Open Play. Which I imagine is like recess, but with ropes, sex and pain. Tickets cost $129. Things get all ropey at the downtown Crowne Plaza Hotel (1015 Elm St.).
April 26-27, 2013