Put Your Eyes On This, You Damn Dirty Ape

New things are stupid. Old things rule. Originals always crush remakes, reboots and sequels. Like, everyone knows they got Planet of the Apes right the first time and fortunately, the guys over at Texas Theatre get that and will be showing Planet of the Apes in 35-mm on Friday. Surely you know the tale, but just in case here we go — Planet of the Apes is the story of a group of astronauts who crash land on an island run by apes. Preposterous, right? Maybe. Or maybe Jane Goodall knows something we don’t. Anyway, these apes are a bunch of jerkoffs that “kill, enslave and experiment” on humans who can’t talk. And since ol’ Charlie Heston was shot in the throat, guess what? He can’t talk. Fortunately, a couple chimpanzees befriend him and aid his escape. See the rest for yourself at 231 W. Jefferson Blvd. Thursday through Sunday. Visit thetexastheatre.com for show times.
Fri., Aug. 2, 2013

 
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