By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
By Eric Nicholson
Dear Mexican: I know an 18-year-old getting deported from the USA. He has been here since he was 5 years old. His entire family is here and undocumented. He grew up in juvenile halls and did a felony as soon as he turned 18. Will he be deported for sure? Deportations are for Dummies
Dear Gabacho: Alas, homeboy is probably going adiós. The Obama administration's Deferred Action for Childhood Arrival (DACA), which allows undocumented youngsters a two-year stay of deportation (subject to renewal) until Congress gets its amnesty act together, specifically states that candidates aren't eligible if they've "been convicted of a felony, significant misdemeanor, three or more other misdemeanors and ... pose a threat to national security or public safety." Without knowing the circumstances of the guy you're talking about, it doesn't seem he stands a chance for judicial mercy. That said, if all the charges were bullshit, get in contact with your local DREAMer movement, as their courage in fighting for the damned has been far more impressive than what Latino politicians have shown.
My wife, (who is Mexican) is a tough nut psychologically to figure out. Essentially, when we began dating, all was right as rain. She was sweet, kind, considerate and extremely attentive. Now, what I call "brown outs" occur. She will fly off the handle at the drop of a hat, throw things, say awful nasty things — basically turn into a she-devil. Furthermore, the jealousy is always there. We love each other very much, so I guess you could say our marriage is anything but dull. Is this typical with Mexican women? ¡Ayúdame! Lobo Blanco
Dear Gabacho: The traditional explanation was that it was all about sangre: the blood of the Moors, Spaniards, Gypsies and Aztecs coursing through a mujer's veins resulted in a quartet of locura that was simultaneously alluring and dangerous. On second thought, that's just bigoted heteronormative misogyny ... so let's just chalk it up to the fact that Mexican woman are crazy because they're women, m'kay?