8 Signs You're A Yuccie Living in Dallas

Pineapple? Check. Ray Bans? Check. You're a yuccie.
Pineapple? Check. Ray Bans? Check. You're a yuccie.
Danny Hurley

Not sure if you heard the news, but the hipster is dead. Its funeral was, like, last week, according to this Mashable article, and now it’s time to move in a new direction of putting labels on humans.

Instead of the somewhat-hated hipster, we now have the Yuccie (pronounced however the hell you want), which is the love child of the yuppie and hipster. (Young Creative Urban.) They have the business sense of their dad and the creative outlook of their art professor.

J. Charlene Davis, professor of marketing at Trinity University, says Yuccies could be rebelling against the standardized testing they received growing up, so now, they are aspiring to make a living by being themselves. Think Kim Kardashian if she were a bit younger. OK, think Kylie Jenner if she were a bit smarter.They have the right to pursue their dreams and better yet, they have the right to get paid for it.

Here’s the scary part. Yuccies are among us. They are walking their dogs near us. They are eating organic soy whey fruit in the booth behind us. They are sharing their personal blog on their Facebook page with us. Oh, my god, they are us.

There’s only one way to be sure. Here are some signs you might be a Yuccie living in Dallas.

"I grew this tomato myself."
Yuccies don’t have babies. But to practice, they have tomato gardens. Whether it’s planted on the balcony of their Uptown apartment or you are a part of a community garden, like Promise of Peace, you are thrilled of the idea of planting, growing and eating Instagramming your creation.

"I'm a fashion blogger."
Yuccies cannot wait for the day that one of their blog posts hits the mainstream world wide web for some controversial topic or idea and starts bringing in the ad revenue. Blogging is an easy way to start your own small business and fashion blogging gives Yuccies an excuse to dress up and pose for the camera. While their peers might be waiting weeks for the big boss to give them the thumbs up, fashion bloggers receive feedback instantly and in a matter of pins and followers. Bonus points if the blog is filled with photos taken by a local photographer and the backdrop is an old painted wall in Deep Ellum.

I think this is the one I painted. Yeah, this one.
I think this is the one I painted. Yeah, this one.
Roderick Pullum

"I don't even remember painting this, I was so drunk."
Nothing, and we mean nothing, says, ‘Look at me and my friends and how artistic we are!’ like a fun Saturday afternoon at Painting With A Twist. It’s essentially a painting class where there’s more champagne than paint and more talking than art-ing. Because in 2015, it’s not enough to sit in solitude and paint the sunset. Yuccies get real fulfillment from going to a Painting With A Twist class and painting an elephant while sipping on cheap white wine and then posting about it on all social media platforms.

"This is from a local designer."
Out of all the Yuccie things to do, the ultimate Yuccie thing is to sell your genius, moneymaking creation at Zoomos Pop-up Shop in Bishop Arts. You’ve gone through several ideas, including, T-shirts with Japanese symbols on it, old keys around a chain that makes it a necklace, and soup bowls that you stole from your grandmother’s house after she died. You are determined to make a fortune selling something no one else has thought of yet. You also buy all your bracelets from other pop-up shoppers, hoping to put out some good karma.

"Have you had the donut with bacon on top of it?"
Oh, my god, what is a Saturday night if it’s not standing outside in line for Glazed Donut Works. Krispy Kreme is for grandpas and grocery store donuts are for children. Yuccies crave the rare, expensive glazed dough. It’s imperative it’s the fanciest kind of donut for Instagram purposes. The Soul Child Four Corners donut is your favorite — not because of the taste, but, you know, the name kind of rocks.

"My company gives half of its profits to a hamster charity."
If you work for one of the Big Four accounting firms, then just forget it. A true Yuccie overlooks the paycheck part of their career and focuses on how the company can better fulfill them. It’s important that not only does the company give them a paycheck twice per month but also gives to a local homeless shelter. All that give back stuff really turns Yuccies on. It was the selling point for them during the job interview — that and the Downtown Dallas location. The salary might not be great, but damn, that creative fulfillment is life.

"I can't. I'm busy saving the world."
Every damn Sunday is a new charity event. And you are on the public relations committee for all of them because of your #networking and #hashtagging skills. Whether it’s the Donut Dash or Breast Cancer Gala or Silent Disco for AIDS or No Mama Mother’s Day Party, Yuccies are there and ready to party. There’s always something going on and there’s always a way to make this small world just a little bit better. T-shirts and new Facebook friends feel great but so does that nice little pat on the back.
"I love Buzz Bike!"
Oh, wow. You thought a Yuccie could go an entire summer without completing the coveted Buzz Bike challenge? Well, it’s not really a challenge so much as it’s just an excuse to get drunk in a creative way. Buzz Bike is the act of riding around Dallas on a 10-person-tabletop bicycle thing and drinking the entire time. When you ride through the streets, it’s important to hoot and holler at the rest of Dallas who is pathetically drinking on a patio — not on some bicycle contraption. 

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