Contest: Area Reader To Win Tickets to The Onion Live

You read The Onion, right? You want to see The Onion live at the Winspear Thursday night? That's what we thought. We have a pair of tickets ready to give away ... but it's not that easy. We want you to prove your love for the satirical publication. So, in...

By Merritt Martin

July 12, 2011

[
        {
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size",
          "component": "18855504",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "17105533",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18349797",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17105532",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18349797",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - Leaderboard Tower - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17105535",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        }
      ]

You read The Onion, right?

You want to see The Onion live at the Winspear Thursday night?

That's what we thought.

~~We have a pair of tickets ready to give away~~ ... but it's not that easy. We want you to prove your love for the satirical publication.

So, in the comments, write a headline in the style of The Onion (to the best of your ability) using at least three of the following elements:

kangaroo(s)
fortune cookies
rush hour traffic
Nikola Tesla*
bees

*Naturally, Nikola Tesla's hair powder is also acceptable.

~~The headline/comment with the most "likes" by 3 p.m. today will win the pair of seats.~~ The winner has been decided! The lucky recipient will be notified by email. Thanks to all those who participated and voted! Tickets are still available for purchase here.

Become A Member

BEFORE YOU GO...
Can you help us continue to share our stories? Since the beginning, Dallas Observer has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas — and we'd like to keep it that way. Our members allow us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls.

Merritt Martin has written for the Dallas Observer for over two decades. She has also contributed to Eater, DMN and USA Today. In addition to arts and culture writing, she spends entirely too much time extolling the virtues of pears, black clothing, and her cat Kenneth.

Contact: Merritt Martin

Follow:

Instagram: @merrittmartinhere