We'll put aside our proclivity for arriving at work at the crack of 10 a.m., our 85-minute lunches and our 5 p.m. happy hour if you'll exercise some modesty as you read this mid-Starbucks sip or whilst searching for the nightclub with the best per-night chance of getting laid. Why downplay all the things that make modern American life so awesome? Well, it's time for peace on earth, gorging ourselves on Butterballs and feeling fleeting compassion for those less fortunate than we are. And it starts with the Hormel Hunger Walk, which comes to the North East Mall on Saturday at 7 a.m. This is great news on a number of levels. First (and most important), every dollar raised can provide 4.5 meals for our more than 250,000 neighbors in need, and all it takes is a romp or three around one of our favorite shopping shrines. Not enough? Well, then consider this: You can support the scrumptious Tabasco pepperoni that Hormel provides year-round, or you can just get some valuable stretching time while trying to be one of the first people at the mall. The North East Mall is at 1101 Melbourne Road in Hurst. Visit www.hormelhungerwalk.com. --Matt Hursh
I hate James Brown. Sure, he does a fine job hosting Fox NFL Sunday. But that's the problem. He does a fine job at everything. He graduated from Harvard. He was drafted by two NBA franchises. He eventually found work in broadcasting. He hosted 10 NCAA Basketball championships, three Super Bowls and two Olympics. Now he has a nationwide radio gig and three nationwide television gigs. On Thursday at Southern Methodist University's McFarlin Auditorium, 6405 Boaz Lane, Brown will lecture on "Success in the Game of Life." How fitting. The event starts at 7:30 p.m. Tickets cost $30, or $25 for subscribers of Eclipse magazine. Call 214-550-1700. --Paul Kix
Spiders Beside Her
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Fools that you are, you look within these pages every week for truth and wisdom. "What is the meaning of life?" you ask. Or, maybe, "What can I do this weekend?" Alas, all we can offer you right now is an answer to the age-old question "Which is smaller--eensy-weensy or itsy-bitsy?" That, plus a very nice nature outing on Saturday for your 4- to 8-year-olds. Casey Harris, education coordinator at Texas Discovery Gardens, will lead a spider safari from 10 a.m. to noon Saturday at TDG in Fair Park. She'll take you and your kids through the gardens armed with water misters. "Misting webs will make the spiders come out," she says, especially trap-door spiders and orb weavers. "They'll meet our 5-year-old Chilean Rose tarantula and see the exoskeleton she just shed," Harris says. Indoors, kids can eat a spider-themed snack, listen to a spider story and make a spider puppet to take home. Admission is $5 per child and $2 per adult. Call 214-428-7476. Oh, and Harris, who packs a degree in zoology and anthropology, says, "Eensy-weensy is definitely smaller." --Annabelle Massey Helber