Mommy Business Cards Suck. But These Are Free, So Let's Make Some.

My first DIY mommy business card. Handing this card to an adult is rude. Handing it to a baby would be awesome, though.
My first DIY mommy business card. Handing this card to an adult is rude. Handing it to a baby would be awesome, though.

Minted.com is currently running a promotion for free mommy business cards, offering you 25 cards free (you just have to pay for shipping). If you have a kid, you've seen these at the playground. I once had a woman proposition me with one of these while I was shopping at Target.

My run-ins with these cards have always been really strange. They generally have the mother's name on top and then the job description is like, "Sally's Mom." I always think, "Why'd you just go with 'Mom' as your title and not something more awesome?" Sure, being a mother is rad, circle of life, yada yada, but if we're making our own job titles up -- let's really do this, ladies. I'm sure the idea of the card is to speed up the playgroup-phone-number-exchange process, but instead, they just make the whole process even weirder than it already is.

When The Bloggess wrote a post ragging on mommy business cards, I knew I wasn't alone in my mommy business card hate.

I would never fork over a ton of money for these kinds of cards, but now that Minted.com is offering them practically free, let's go full-on weird with some mommy business cards, shall we? If we're going to have to go to awkward playgroups, we might as well make them super awkward.

Go classic, with a card you can hand over right after your kid shits her pants on you.
Go classic, with a card you can hand over right after your kid shits her pants on you.
It's sweet aaaand true.
It's sweet aaaand true.
Let the other moms know how much you really appreciate adult life.
Let the other moms know how much you really appreciate adult life.
Great for playtime and anytime.
Great for playtime and anytime.

Just so you know, I've received a proof for my cards, so odds are they'll print whatever you want. No proof-of-mom was required with purchase (didn't have to flash any busted up junk or stretch marks in order to receive the deal). So, if you're a mom of a cat or a dog, a mother at work to your childish coworkers or if you just want some free cards that are pre-art-directed for you, go get you some.

Follow The Mixmaster on Facebook and Twitter. Follow Alice Laussade at @thecheapbastard.

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